He used to be all over you but now, he won’t even hold you.
He once looked at you with passionate desire in his eyes but now, he won’t even bother to check on you.
“It’s normal for sex to dwindle when you’re in a long-term relationship”- this is what you often hear and what you’ve been convincing yourself with.
But you’re now at the point where you’re devastated by his silent rejections.
A part of you even feels ashamed for how needy you must seem. You just want to give up. And we get what you feel:
You just want to feel the warmth of his love without begging for it. You just want to see his deliberate actions motivated by pure desire for you.
Here’s a secret: You can get your husband to be magnetically attracted to you again.
Want to know the tricks that can help you get him on board?
Here’s our Irresistible Wife Blueprint to reignite his desire to pursue you again.
Want to stop thinking, ‘My husband ignores my sexual advances- what can I do?’
Read on to know the exact blueprint to jumpstart your intimacy.
Do You Make These Relationship Mistakes?
Get Your FREE Assessment!
- Discover TOXIC communication mistakes that ruin your marriage
- Get 4 SIMPLE steps to understand and fix your relationship
Tired Of Being Rejected By Husband?
A full evening at home without any interruptions. ‘Yes, finally!’ you think to yourself. It’s the perfect time for some steamy and romantic evening with your husband.
But then, it hits you…
It’s been forever since he opened himself to your sexual advances. And instead of taking your chances, the fear of rejection and the overwhelming exhaustion from constant rejection prevents you from approaching him. And when’s the last time he initiated sex?
Slowly, resentment begins to set in and you feel more distant than ever. You now go to bed with your backs turned away from each other. It’s like living with a roommate and not with someone you used to have fantastic sex with.
You struggle with the unknown. Can you two stay this way forever? Does he no longer find you attractive anymore? Is he drawn to other women, but just not you?
You have all of those questions in your head that keep you up at night. Ease your worries and get the clarity you need with the answers we have in the next few sections.
Sexual rejection can be as painful as physical pain.– Natasha and Jachym Jerie
What Does It Mean When Your Husband Rejects You Sexually?
“Am I not good enough for him?”
“Is he cheating?”
These are some of the common things women think about when their husband ignores their sexual advances. It makes you feel undesirable. But what’s really going on?
Here are some reasons why your husband is rejecting you sexually.
1. Lower Sex Drive
He used to have an over-the-top libido when you two first met. But now, he’s not showing even a slight interest in any sexual activity. And so you’re left wondering if there’s something wrong with you.
There are a lot of factors at play in this scenario.
As suggested in this article, your man might have medical conditions like hypertension and cardiovascular disease, which affect his blood flow in his body, including his genitals. And just a bit of info, poor blood flow affects his ability to get aroused.
Another reason is that there might be a mismatch in your urges for physical intimacy. You and your husband might not fit in the norm where the man has a higher sex drive than the woman. He’s perfectly healthy but his desire for intimacy is simply lower than yours.
And yes, it’s also perfectly normal for you to have that higher libido than your man. It’s just a matter of learning how to balance your feminine energy with his masculine essence. Got no idea what that means?
Don’t worry, as we’ll discuss more of that later.
2. He Might Be Gay
You’ve been initiating the lovemaking but you’re often left there, feeling unwanted because he shut you out again. It’s like he couldn’t stand being intimate with you. And so you had this suspicion that your husband might be gay.
Well, that could be a probable reason but before you go full head-on with that hunch, you need to know this:
Wanting to have sex all the time doesn’t make your husband a man. And him ignoring your sexual advances doesn’t automatically make him homosexual.
Intimacy is more than just the physical. Being affectionate and tender is also a form of intimacy. He might not fancy you physically, but he might be all out in showering you with deep adoration in other ways.
If he’s not doing both, then maybe there’s a probability that he’s indeed not into women.
3. He’s Addicted to Porn
You’ve probably heard of the plethora of negative implications that watching porn has on an individual. Surprisingly, porn has also been found to cause poor relationship stability and quality for married couples, with a two-fold probability of a marriage ending in divorce.
But how does porn exactly destroy your marriage?
Pornography distorts your husband’s perception of what real sexual intimacy is. It gives your man a false impression of what your body should look like. Not just that, detaching reality from what’s fantasy appears to be difficult when your husband is addicted to porn.
Too much porn results in him having unrealistic assumptions of how the act of sex should be. And in most cases, meeting those beliefs is nearly impossible, which then leaves him unsatisfied. That unmet expectation then leads him to not want sex with you anymore.
4. He’s Cheating
Of all the reasons out there, this one is the most dreadful.
It’s soul-crushing, but him ignoring your sexual advances could be a sign that he’s unfaithful. There’s a good chance that he’s getting his unmet sexual satisfaction from another woman.
But remember this: it’s never too late to save your marriage.
You can fulfill his needs by unleashing that inner goddess within you- a version of you that stops him from seeking out other women. Wake up feeling secured by the love of the man that has his eyes only for you.
5. He Feels Pressured
You tried to seduce him in all possible ways. Nothing seemed to work and it only left you feeling more frustrated. So you decided to resort to bickering, nagging, and more incessant demands.
But here’s the catch:
He might cave in but it just won’t feel half as satisfying as when he willingly accepts your desire. The worst thing is, he won’t even engage in any sexual activity after that.
Husbands love to see their wives happy and pleased. But when his plate is full, thoughts of having sex could totally slip out of his mind. In most cases, your constant whining about his shortcomings puts more pressure on him.
Sex isn’t like a diamond. Pressure won’t turn him on. In fact, it does the opposite. Forcing him to get into action actually dampens his desire. So it’s really not surprising when your husband begins to backpedal whenever you initiate lovemaking.
These reasons might have given you a deeper understanding of why your husband ignores your sexual advances. But a quick reminder: this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Let’s take a closer look at how sexual rejection plays out in your marriage and what you can do about it.
Effects of Sexual Rejection in Marriage
You approached your husband and he turned you down cold. You feel neglected, unworthy, undesirable, and downright awful inside.
You’re not the only one. As this small study shows:
Partners who get rejected can feel it up to 48 h after it has happened.
What are other effects of sexual rejection in marriage?
1. You Stop Approaching Him
No one likes to get rejected.
If you know that you’re going to get turned down, why bother trying?
I know, it sucks. But you start opting for the less painful choice, which is to not do it at all. If your spouse then approaches you, you might turn them down because you’re too deeply hurt to open up to them sexually in case he changes his mind again.
It’s a vicious cycle.
2. Both Get Tired of Sex Because it’s Such a Sensitive Topic
Just like being rejected isn’t fun, it’s also not fun to reject someone. Especially when you know how hurt they get.
Sex, which usually is a delightful experience, becomes too painful for both of you. Rather than enjoying each other’s touch, you start withdrawing. You start to feel lonely and neglected. Your spouse feels pressured, which pushes him even further away.
Sex starts to divide you rather than bring you closer together, and that’s not a good place to be in.
Sex needs to be enjoyed, rather than being a chore.– Jachym Jerie
3. Marital Satisfaction Decreases
This is a pretty obvious one.
Sexual rejection goes beyond bringing negative feelings about your sex life- it actually makes you feel less satisfied with your marriage as a whole.
Sex, like any other relationship aspect, glues together the bricks of your marriage’s foundation. Without it, everything would slowly drift apart. In fact, studies have shown that frequent lovemaking leads to increased marital satisfaction.
Why is that so?
It’s because sex acts as a powerful tool in promoting a deeper emotional connection between you and your husband. Take sexual intimacy out of the picture, and you’re left with a stale marriage where you both live like roommates instead of lovers.
4. You Start Looking Elsewhere for Sexual Satisfaction
If you don’t have sex with your husband, you’ll start finding it somewhere else. Whether that’s through:
- Erotic novels
You have a need and you have to find an outlet for it. While it’s understandable that you might look outside of the marriage, we don’t encourage it. Instead, you want to face the issue in a way that doesn’t perpetuate the hurt.
Just because you have a difference in sex drive doesn’t mean that your marriage has to be over. In our The Cherished Wife Program, we cover the module Unleash Your Inner Goddess so you can naturally become irresistible and 10x more desirable to your husband.
Not only that, we also teach you to understand your man and his needs better so that you can Get Inside Your Man’s Brain. So often we land on assumptions about our relationship and partner that aren’t helpful or true.
Coping with Sexual Rejection in Marriage
Go into the feeling of rejection.
Let’s go back a few steps. As we’ve discussed, sexual rejection can be a painful experience, which can lead to divorce. Wanting to cope with it is a natural desire. But what if there was another way?
You see, coping doesn’t solve the issue. It gives you a strategy to soften the pain. It’s a short-term solution. But it isn’t a long-term one.
Instead, you need to lean into your own pain. I know this from personal experience.
Heal your wounds and your relationship will heal too.– Natasha Koo
Leaning In vs. Fixing It
Natasha used to reject me, and I’d feel like a 5-year-old boy who’s totally helpless. It was a searing pain in my heart and stomach. Natasha could explain to me that she loves me very much, but she just wasn’t in the mood right now. But all these words wouldn’t help.
I’d still feel heartbroken and rejected. Her reassurance simply didn’t reach me.
So I tried all kinds of methods to cope with it. Unfortunately, it led nowhere. The pain was still there. I tried to change it through various methods I knew and I still failed.
But one day, when I was feeling abandoned again, I had enough. I sat down and I finally felt all of it.
You see, my ‘working through it’ was really a way of trying to run from this feeling. But the more I tried to run, the more it had me.
Only when I stopped and fully embraced all of it did my experience change. I had to drop all resistance before I was able to work with it successfully.
How do you cope with it?
By embracing the very feeling you deeply despise. But be careful not to wallow in it. That will simply reinforce the story. No, you need to feel the raw sensation without any story and be with it.
Then you go beyond coping and into resolution and thriving. That puts you in a place where you can address your sex life in a healthy way that’s not going to perpetuate the problem.
How to Deal with Sexual Rejection in a Relationship?
Sexual rejection doesn’t have to be a constant in your relationship. You can turn it around. If you want a detailed answer on how you can become an Irresistible Wife, then check out our blueprint here.
You’re naturally beautiful- Are you willing to show it?– Natasha Koo
1. Unleash Your Inner Goddess
You can’t change your sex life until you learn how to:
- Tap into your feminine power
- Discover the seductiveness of surrender
- Unguard your heart
- Have fun!
Sex is fun. It’s also deep, but leading up to it, it often is fun and lighthearted. Flirtations are built on having fun with each other. But when you feel rejected, you don’t feel lighthearted. You feel hurt.
This is why you need to learn how you can unguard your heart and heal these wounds. They prevent you from opening up to your man fully and showing him your soft side. It’s this opening up that’s incredibly seductive for a man.
Rather than trying to pursue him, you learn to draw him in. That’s the whole point of becoming an Irresistible Wife.
2. Create a Safe Space
If you’re like us, sex started to be bad.
It would lead to tears on a regular basis. Both of us didn’t feel good enough. It got to the point where we felt that it might just be easier not to have sex at all!
That’s not a great place to be in.
What can you do about it?
You want to clean up your relationship space. You want to ensure that:
Are the primary pillars of your relationship. This means that:
Has no space in the relationship.
Because they divide you and your husband from each other. Guess what happened when we were in tears?
We either blamed the other or ourselves! You need to transmute blame so that your relationship can flourish.
Once you’ve addressed these toxic patterns, you’ll have a space where you can address these very difficult issues in a respectful and gentle manner. Without creating a safe space, neither you nor your husband will open up.
Energetically understand how the masculine and feminine works, and attraction won’t be a mystery anymore.– Natasha and Jachym Jerie
3. Get Inside Your Man’s Brain
There are attraction triggers that are hardwired into your man’s brain. If you’re not hitting them, the chances of passion ensuing between the two of you is unlikely to happen.
Here are a few of these triggers:
1. He Wants to Be Your Hero
Men are hardwired to protect their women. That’s why we’re physically stronger. But he can’t tap into this desire if you’re telling him constantly what to do. You need to learn to ask for help.
It doesn’t matter if you’re running a Fortune 500 company. In your relationship, you need to show your softness. He needs to feel that you genuinely need him, just like he needs you.
Let him step up and you’ll see your relationship transform before your eyes. Do you have a hard time letting go of control?
Many women do. It’s scary. But we can help you with it. Book a free relationship reboot call now.
2. He Loves to See You Happy
There are only a few other things that give your man as much joy as seeing you happy, satisfied, and fulfilled. Again, this is something ingrained in your man.
How can you use it?
One is to start focusing on your happiness first. When you’re happy, you’re more fun to be around and you immediately get more attractive. But not only that, you can elicit your man’s help to fulfill your desires.
Your desire is a really powerful tool that most women don’t use. You don’t have to be rational, but you do need to be emotional. When he sees and feels how much something means to you, he’s much more likely to do it for you.
Practically speaking, this means to:
- Voice your desire
- Be specific
- Show him how much it pleases you when he does something for you
Here’s something really important: he’s not going to get it all right. He’s going to mess some things up, which is why you need to learn to let things go. If he’s made an effort, that’s good enough for now. He’ll become better at it over time with your help.
He wants to cherish you, but are you letting him?– Jachym Jerie
3. He Wants to Feel Your Trust
There’s nothing that tells a man more that you trust him than when you let yourself go in his presence.
If you’re busy controlling everything, you’re showing him that he’s not trustworthy. That’s a major turn-off for a man.
Rather than telling him that you trust him, show it to him by:
- Dropping your guard and being vulnerable
- Letting him take care of you
- Asking for his input
- Sometimes telling him that he needs to figure out himself
These things are a sign of trust. They speak louder than any words you could ever use. Your body language, demeanor, and action show the trust you have in him.
If you struggle with this, you might need to address some issues in yourself first. Or you simply might have a very negative view of your husband, which needs to be addressed. Both sticking points are addressed in our The Cherished Wife Program. If you’re interested, check it out here.
It’s one thing when other people give you the cold shoulder and a whole different thing when the person who vowed to cherish and love you for the rest of his life turns you down. The pain of rejection from your husband makes you feel like a complete failure.
It opens up all the insecurities you never knew were there.
But what are you to do?
You tried all the advice you’ve read on the internet, but your husband remains unresponsive. It’s like you’ve reached the dead end.
You’re tired of trying so you just settle with the sexless marriage you’ve drifted into.
But is that what you truly deserve?
You deserve the kind of marriage that makes you feel like the most special woman in the world.
You deserve the kind of love that doesn’t make you question your worth.
And no, you don’t have to work hard to be loved that way.
Being with a sexually unresponsive husband is not all hopeless. You can change your relationship for the better.
Turn on your irresistible feminine superpower by taking action today.
Follow the tips that resonate with you the most and start pursuing the marriage of your dreams.
Discover 3 DANGEROUS Mistakes Couples Make
Receive a FREE assessment to identify your relationship mistakes & how to avoid them.