Imagine your husband coming home from work. The first thing he does before he even takes his jacket off is to wrap you into his arms and give you a big kiss. ‘How was your day? I missed you,’ he says as he looks into your eyes.
Your heart swells from his love and warmth as you share details of your day. You feel so appreciated, loved and cared for. Your husband listens intently and laughs at the right moments. When you finish, he smiles at you and says: ‘It’s incredible what you do for us. I just appreciate you so much. Why don’t we do something special, just you and me this weekend?’
Have you been longing to hear these words of affirmation from your husband?
Do you wish that he shows you more appreciation through his words and actions?
Do you feel like you deserve some acknowledgment for all the effort and work that you put in every single day?
You’re not alone. This survey shows that women are more stressed by their husbands than their kids.
If you’re in the same boat like these women, know that we’re with you 100%. It’s disheartening to try to do everything only to find out later that no one cares. It can make you want to give up and wonder what it’s all for. At moments when you feel truly alone, you might start questioning whether your husband truly sees and loves you anymore.
If you find yourself in this position, then look no further because this article can help you feel cherished and valued again. There is a way to bring back the love, appreciation and connection in your relationship, even if you don’t feel appreciated today.
Want to know the secret to getting showered by your husband’s gratitude and appreciation without ever needing to ask for it? Read on to find out.
Does your partner appreciate you enough?
- Discover your husband appreciation score
- Learn the 3 KEYS to lasting affection
Get Your FREE Appreciation Assessment!
100% PRIVACY. WE WILL NEVER EVER SPAM YOU!
7 Surefire Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Appreciate You
Does he appreciate me or not?
The best way to answer this question is to trust your gut feeling. You’re the one who knows your husband best. But, we do know that sometimes we just don’t really know what’s going on and would like some pointers. That’s why we’ve created the 7 signs your husband doesn’t appreciate you.
We look for others to treat us better than we treat ourselves.- Jachym Jerie
1. He Just Communicates When He Wants Something From You
A relationship needs care and attention. If you don’t give it that, it withers away. When your husband only communicates with you when he needs something from you, he’s not giving himself to the relationship. Instead, he’s using it to maximize the benefits when it’s suitable for him. This is a very clear sign that he isn’t appreciating you, or he’s only appreciating you when he wants something in return.
2. He Doesn’t Say Thank You
Did you know that when people from mainland China take each other out for dinner, they don’t say thank you?
Yeah, I didn’t know this either. But apparently that’s normal. Why are we sharing this?
Because gestures of appreciation like ‘thank you’ are cultural. Your husband might not have been brought up to say ‘thank you’. That said, if your husband used to be appreciative and now he rarely says ‘thank you’, you can take it as a sign that he doesn’t appreciate you anymore.
3. He Doesn’t Make an Effort to Show You That He Loves You
Appreciation goes hand-in-hand with wanting to let the other person know that they’re really important to you.
If your husband isn’t putting an effort into showing you that he loves you, he’s taking you for granted and his appreciation for you has gone down the drain. But we do have to warn you as well:
Your husband might have a different love language than you and you might think that he isn’t showing you that he loves you, while he actually does.
4. He Doesn’t Listen to Your Requests
But if your husband isn’t listening to your requests, it’s a sign that he lost appreciation for you. He is prioritizing other things over you. If you’re finding yourself in this place, don’t worry, we got you covered.
In our flagship coaching program The Cherished Wife, we help women like you gain back the appreciation, love, and connection they once shared with their husband. We’ve uncovered three keys that’ll make you into an irresistible wife that he can’t say no to. A valued and cherished woman who he willingly respects, cares for and appreciates.
Want to know how to make this a reality in your relationship? Head over here to secure your spot now!
5. He Demands That You Do Things for Him
There’s a big difference between a request and a demand.
A request gives you the option to say no. A demand gives you no choice. If your husband is demanding that you do things for him, we believe that he’s lost appreciation for you. You don’t just force someone that you highly value and appreciate to do things for you.
But his demands could point to him having unfulfilled needs. He just doesn’t know how to maturely communicate them to you. In this case, it doesn’t necessarily mean he lost all appreciation for you. But it does mean that there are things in your relationship that need to be addressed.
6. He Doesn’t Make You a Priority
When you appreciate someone, you make time for them.
Because it’s a way of showing that you want to give them your time and attention. If your husband is prioritizing other things over you and your relationship, it shows a lack of appreciation. Yes, we’re all busy and have a lot to do. Which is why we have to block out time for each other to make sure that we don’t lose sight of how the other person is doing.
7. He Doesn’t Check-in to See How You’re Doing
Appreciation can also be shown by showing care for the other person’s well-being. It demonstrates that you value your partner to a degree that you want to be part of their life.
Your husband not doing that can be an indication that he’s not appreciating you and has started to take you for granted.
If you’re still unsure whether your husband appreciates you or not, take this questionnaire ‘does my husband appreciate me quiz.’
Now let’s find out why your husband isn’t appreciating you anymore.
Why Does My Husband Not Appreciate Me?
“Is there something wrong with me?
Am I not good enough for him?
Is he seeing someone else?
Why does my husband not appreciate me anymore?”
These are totally normal questions that could be running through your head. Let’s take a look at what’s really going on
We can’t solve our relationship problems with our mind; they need to be resolved by our hearts.- Natasha Koo
Mismatch of How to Show Appreciation
Not everyone shows appreciation in the same way. Some people show appreciation through gifts, dinners and surprise parties. Others show it through deeply listening to their partner, saying thank you or just a loving happy smile.
Ask yourself this:
How do I know I’m appreciated?
When you know what gestures make you feel appreciated, you’ll have a much easier time showing your husband what you need. Your man might simply not know how to show you appreciation in a way that you understand.
Here’s our story of how we worked out our mismatch in how we show our appreciation. When I first moved to Switzerland, I took on the role of the household pretty seriously. Since Jachym had longer working hours than me, I was adamant in creating healthy yet delicious meals for us on weeknights.
So every evening, he’d come home from work and usually dinner would be freshly prepared and ready on the table. After Jachym took a bite or two, I would look at him with anticipation asking: ‘What do you think? How is it?’ He’d often say: ‘It’s okay.’ And carry on eating.
I’d feel completely deflated, wondering what’s wrong with the food and how I could improve it. ‘It’s just okay, huh?’ I’d say. Jachym would look up from his plate and say: ‘Well, it’s fine!’
With repeated feedback which I interpreted as borderline satisfactory, I’d sulk and think that I’ve failed in making us a tasty meal. This whole scenario repeated multiple times until I couldn’t handle it anymore. One day, I said to Jachym: ‘Is it really that bad?! I mean, all I cook for you is always just ‘okay’! I don’t get what’s really so terrible about it!’
That’s when Jachym looked at me with complete confusion on his face. ‘I never said it was bad. Okay is good! Fine is good!’ That’s when I realized that I wanted positive affirmation in my act of service. I wanted his appreciation of my efforts and for him to genuinely be pleased with the food. He was in fact enjoying himself at every meal, it’s just that in his ‘Swiss English’, okay meant good. Meanwhile, I understood okay or fine as a polite way to say terrible.
It was then that Jachym realized just how important it was that he showed his appreciation for my cooking and efforts at home. Without honest communication, we would’ve carried on for years with the misunderstanding.
Have You Fallen Into the Routine-Trap?
Freshly in love…
You can’t keep your hands to yourself. You just want to be with each other all the time.
Fast forward a few years and you’ve become roommates instead of lovers. If you’re finding yourself in this position, our The Cherished Wife Program is for you. We’ll show you exactly how you can rekindle the spark with your husband.
You can finally understand:
- How to talk to him so he gets you.
- How to entice him to fulfill your desires without you having to beg.
- How to become irresistible to your husband.
This 3-month premium program is here to truly transform your life and your relationship. If you’re tired of the same issues within your marriage, then this is your chance to turn things around with the help of experts who’ve been in your exact shoes before. Stop struggling on your own and follow the steps that are proven to work. Head over here and apply for your spot now.
You’ll break out of the ‘routine-trap’ where you coexist with each other. No wonder your husband has lost appreciation for you if you take each other for granted. A relationship needs to be alive and this means that you need to break out of habitual routines.
His Needs Aren’t Being Met
It’s hard to feel appreciation for someone when you feel hurt and neglected. And yes, husbands can feel that too.
When you haven’t learned to communicate with each other what your needs are, it’s easy to feel hurt and disappointed by your partner. You might have no idea that you’ve hurt him. When he starts withdrawing from the relationship, it’s a sign that something isn’t quite right.
The more his needs are met, the more he’s in the position to appreciate and love you.
What Do You Do When Your Husband Doesn’t Appreciate You?
It’s an opportunity.
I know it doesn’t look like one.
But often our biggest challenges are hidden opportunities. Your husband not appreciating you is an invitation to reassess how you’re doing things in the relationship. It’s also an opportunity to challenge your assumptions.
When you fully accept yourself, other people’s judgment can’t hurt you.- Natasha & Jachym Jerie
Why Do You Need Your Husband’s Appreciation?
If you tell your friends that your husband doesn’t appreciate you, they’ll totally get why it sucks. Hell, we even know that it can be hurtful.
No one questions why we need the appreciation of our partner in the first place. This is why not getting what you need is often a blessing in disguise. It can show us where we’re trying to masquerade our own feeling of inadequacy with the approval from others.
Do you need to feel appreciated from your husband so that you feel:
- Good enough
- Like you matter
- Seen and heard
- Happy and satisfied
Whatever the reason, you want to take a closer look at it.
Because if your husband doesn’t give you what you want/need, you’ll be suffering. You’ll feel like you’re not good enough or lacking. You don’t have to be stuck in that. In The Cherished Wife Program we help you to feel deeply satisfied and nourished. You can feel good enough and it starts with how you feel and what you need.
You see so many programs are limited to the surface issues. We want to go as deep as possible with you so that you totally embrace yourself. It’s from that inner peace that you can create a dream-come-true relationship.
How Do You Deal With a Husband that Doesn’t Appreciate You?
This question won’t result in any good outcomes for your marriage.
Because it’s from the mindset that a husband must be ‘dealt with’. Fact is your husband isn’t a pest which must be ‘dealt with’ or ‘controlled’ by an exterminator. That doesn’t work in marriage.
That’s why it’s counterproductive to treat your husband like an incapable child who needs to be looked after. This is a common mistake. So many women are:
- Treating their husband like boys
- Trying to control their man
- Putting their man down
- Labeling their husbands as incapable and useless
- Nagging their man to do what they want them to do
- Feeling responsible for everything
All of this has to stop. It kills the romance. Instead of having a husband who’s your equal, you’re left to your own devices trying to take care of everything. Your husband can’t and won’t step up until you make room for him to do so.
I had to learn this lesson the tough way. When Jachym and I first started our digital nomad lifestyle, we were absolutely ecstatic. Hopping from country to country every three months while we traveled and worked online was an absolute dream. All except when we had to pack, move to a new place and unpack again.
The week before and after the move, I became an organizational zombie. I’d get stressed out, start controlling the whole move, cleaning, packing and travel itinerary. By the time we were ready to leave one location, I’d be completely exhausted. Not only that, I’d feel completely abandoned by Jachym.
I thought that he was completely useless and never helped me. In fact, I thought that he often got in the way. When I did I ask for help, it felt like such a chore that I’d rather just do it on my own.
So this went on for more than a year. Jachym would helplessly watch on the sidelines as I kneeled next to our massive luggage, packing our life back up and making sure that everything was in the right place. Seeing him stand there while doing absolutely nothing would make me incredibly irritated. I’d snap at him to make himself useful and get back into my packing frenzy.
Eventually, we sat down at our weekly relationship meeting and addressed this ongoing issue. Clearly, there had to be a better way to do things. So we figured it out and I let Jachym in. Instead of trying to do everything and taking on all the responsibilities, I let Jachym help me.
It wasn’t from a dictatorship like how I used to do things. Instead, we worked together. Jachym started sharing how he noticed that I was always stressed for time. That we should start preparing for the move earlier. He also told me how he truly wanted to support me, be there for me and do the tasks that he’s capable of doing. But we needed to figure out how to split the work so that I can do my organizational genius moves when needed.
Just like that, I let Jachym take more control. I stopped seeing him as useless. I stepped back and relaxed more. I stopped nagging at him and we communicated much better. Since then, our packing and moving have become flawless. We do it feeling fully supported, loved and appreciated as we work together as a team.
Your husband might not appreciate what you’re doing because he has no clue how much work there is to do. When you stop taking all the responsibilities on your shoulders, you’re making space for your husband to step up and be the man you really love. He wants to appreciate you and support you, but only when you allow him to.
Instead of ‘dealing with a husband that doesn’t appreciate you’, you can shift the relationship to become healthier and better. That’s the way forward. If you just ‘deal’ with someone, you’re not actually growing and transforming.
It’s from transformation that appreciation will become a baseline for your great love and intimacy.
How Do I Get My Husband to Appreciate Me More? (3 Simple Steps)
That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?
With the following three steps, you’ll be well on your way to get the appreciation you’re longing for.
Relinquishing control over your husband is a vital step to become a cherished wife.– Natasha Koo
1. Take Care of Yourself
It’s very simple:
The more you feel exhausted, the more you’ll blame your husband for not doing things around the house. The more you blame him, the more he wants to get away from you, leaving you with more work.
To break this cycle, you have to stop doing everything around the house. Stop feeling responsible for everything and start being gentle to yourself. Make sure you have something fun and rejuvenating planned every week. It’s a simple commitment that’ll put your relationship on the right track.
2. Create a Culture of Gratitude
‘Don’t compliment him or he becomes complacent.’
That’s what some women believe. They think they have to withhold their appreciation and only give it out to him when he’s earned it. That’s totally and utterly wrong. This idea is coming from a place of fear (‘If I compliment him, he’ll do even less’).
The exact opposite is actually true: the more you share gratitude, the more likely he’s to keep doing the things you like. He’ll also extend gratitude back to you.
This study shows that appreciation will improve your willingness to share concerns around your relationship and it’ll increase your positive outlook towards your husband.
Gratitude is an expression of love. Your relationship needs to be a conduit for love, not fear. When you shift your focus towards gratitude, you’re allowing yourself to reconnect back to love rather than fear. It literally transforms your relationship.
Find What You’re Grateful for Today
Don’t wait for your husband to perform for you. Find what he’s doing well now. When you start complimenting him, you’re building up a positive momentum. The more you pay attention to what he’s doing well, the more you’ll find other things he does well too, as this study here shows.
The opposite is also true: if you keep finding fault in your husband, you’ll find more and more of what’s not right about him. Take responsibility for where you put your focus and cultivate what will truly benefit your relationship. That’s the first step to be treated like a queen by your husband.
3. Let Go of Resentment
You can’t be deeply grateful and be resentful at the same time. But, your mind can revert back to thinking about the shortcomings of your husband. You want to let go of resentment because it only poisons the relationship and your soul.
Your husband picks up on your body language. Even if you don’t mention what you’re angry about, he’ll know something isn’t right. His reaction will be one of withdrawal rather than turning towards you and appreciating you.
Start cleaning up your relationship by making sure the emotional charge you bring into it is based on love and not fear.
In our The Cherished Wife Program we give you actionable steps to implement these three keys. We help you to build your dream-come-true relationship without having to compromise, put up with, deal, or cope with your current situation.
We encourage you to hold your expectations high so that you get to experience what it feels like to be deeply appreciated, loved, and cared for. Gone are the days where you have to nag your husband to get things done. You’ll know exactly how to talk to him so that he gets you.
We can only work with a handful of women. Head over here to secure your spot now.
How to Make Your Husband More Caring
Now that you know how to make your husband appreciate you more, you might be wondering how you can make him also more caring. Appreciation is a form of care but there are other forms of care that you might be missing.
We’ve already shared three vital steps, but in this section we’ll explore a few more that’ll help you get what you desire.
Your man can be your hero if you stop pretending like you can do it all.- Jachym Jerie
For your husband to care for you, you need to drop your walls. Why should he become more compassionate when you’re pretending that you got it all figured out?
Vulnerability draws out compassion, care, and empathy. If you want your husband to be more caring towards you, you have to make the leap of faith and show him your vulnerable side.
State Your Desire
A man wants to see his woman happy. It’s totally normal.
But most women don’t realize this. Instead, they think they have to use:
To get what they want. These tactics are a surefire way to drive your husband further away. Instead, you want to drill down what it is that you really want. Be specific and clear so that your husband knows what you’re asking for.
A request like ‘I want more money’ isn’t specific. If you say:
Honey, I saw these amazing leather boots and I just can’t stop thinking about them. I’d love to have them.
That’s much more specific and clear. Will it guarantee that you get your boots? Nope. But you’re much more likely to get them when you’re authentic about your desire and he can see how it’s really important to you (Remember, be vulnerable).
Stay Away from Logic
When you state your desires, you want to stay away from rationalizing it. You don’t need to give him a logical reason for it. You just need to communicate with your heart. If you start making it all logical, you’re taking away the charm of your pure expression of desire.
Logic is a much more masculine based energy (note that both men and women have feminine and masculine energies in them). When you use your desire, you’re using your feminine energy. It’s much more compelling for a man to feel your desire than to hear you give him all kinds of logical reasons (plus, he’ll start arguing with you).
It’s a wonderful feeling to be appreciated. You feel valued, cherished and seen.
In long-term relationships, sometimes couples fall into the trap of taking each other for granted. Communication falls apart. Everything becomes a routine. Before you know it, there’s barely gratitude or appreciation for what is there anymore.
But you don’t have to fall into this trap. You can feel valued, cherished and seen by your husband. But first, you have to step away from the mindset that it might be all about you.
In this article, we’ve already shared some ways to go about addressing the issue. For example, you can:
- Question whether you and your partner have a mismatch of how you show appreciation.
- Check whether falling into a routine plays a factor or not.
- Try to understand from your husband’s perspective and assess whether his needs are being met or not.
If you find these three steps overwhelming and don’t know whether you’re doing it right, then click here to join the waiting list for our premium coaching The Cherished Wife Program. In it, we take you by the hand and guide you step-by-step with our proven Exceptional Relationship Formula™.
Stop the guesswork and find out what can actually save your marriage instead. The average couple stays in an unhappy marriage for 6 years before they seek help. Don’t put yourself through any more months of feeling unappreciated and unhappy in your relationship.
There is a way to an incredible marriage where you feel cherished and adored by your husband. You are lovable and you should feel appreciated. Reserve your spot on our flagship program to make the biggest difference in your life and relationship.
Get More Affection In Your Marriage
Receive a FREE assessment to find out your Husband Appreciation Score
100% PRIVACY. WE WILL NEVER EVER SPAM YOU!