It’s like pulling teeth.
You simply can’t get your husband to open up and talk to you. No matter what you try, he just won’t do it.
But why doesn’t he talk to you? What’s preventing him from opening up?
These questions might be on your mind. Luckily, we will be answering all these concerns in this article. No more wondering why your communication has broken down. No more doubting where things are headed. Let’s dive in so you have clarity on how to get your husband to open up and talk today.
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Why Does My Husband Not Talk to Me?
A husband won’t open up if he doesn’t feel safe.- Jachym Jerie
He’s Afraid of Your Reaction
Men have feelings too.
They simply tend to suppress them more than women. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t impacted by how you treat them. If you started to:
- Use contempt
- Be angry
Your husband, he won’t feel safe with you. Without that safety, he’s going to keep quiet rather than speak freely. Sometimes you can be unaware of how you react and how much it impacts your spouse. Pay attention to how your husband reacts when you talk to him and you’ll become more attuned to what’s impacting him negatively.
In our The Cherished Wife Program we help women like you turn your relationship around. We give you the three keys to create the marriage of your dreams. We show you how you can get rid of these negative communication patterns with ease and how you can replace them with positive ones.
You’ll walk away knowing exactly:
- How to talk to your husband so he gets you.
- How to become irresistible to him even if he isn’t attracted to you right now.
- How you can deepen your soulmate connection so your marriage becomes unbreakable.
All it takes is for you to take the first step now.
He’s Been Hurt By You
Him being afraid of your reaction is often tied to the past. Meaning, he’s been hurt by you before and now doesn’t want to open up anymore. Being hurt can also be something that has happened recently. If you’ve had a fight and it has gotten out of hand, you both are probably hurt.
Men tend to withdraw when they’re hurt rather than seek closeness and try to talk it out. Your husband might not talk to you because he’s hurting.
We need to process our pain to walk free from it.- Natasha Koo
He’s Wanting More Attention from You
I know it sounds counterintuitive…
Wouldn’t he be more talkative if he wants more attention? Not necessarily; withdrawing from you can be a tactic to get you to pursue him more. If he feels neglected, his not talking could be a sign that he’s starved for more attention.
This kind of behavior can be often found in people who have an anxious attachment style.
People who are passive-aggressive are unable to handle conflict. Instead of speaking up, they agree and then later punish the person through withdrawal, snide comments and other means.
Your husband not talking to you could be a sign that he’s passive-aggressive. Just pay attention to what happens when there is a disagreement and how he behaves afterwards. If he avoids the conflict but then later seems to be really off, chances are that he can’t handle conflict and resorts to passive-aggression.
He’s Given up Hope
Your husband not talking to you could mean that he’s given up any hope for the relationship. This often happens when conflicts have stayed unresolved and any attempts to resolve them has simply made the situation worse.
This then leads to your husband withdrawing from the relationship as he feels he can’t do anything about it. Often, the giving up of hope is also intertwined with your husband ’s needs not being met.
He’s Tired and Stressed
Your husband not talking to you doesn’t have to mean it’s all doom and gloom. It simply can be a sign that he’s really stressed. If this is the case, his communication will pick up again as soon as he has some time to relax and recharge properly.
You can find in this article how stress negatively impacts marriages.
He Simply Isn’t a Man of Many Words
We worship words.
But not everyone is good with words. Your husband might be communicating in other ways that are non-verbal. Just because he doesn’t talk, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. It also doesn’t mean he isn’t expressing his love to you.
You simply might not understand how he’s expressing it. Pay attention to how he:
- Touches you
- Looks at you
- Is present with you
Words are just a small part of human interaction; your husband not talking to you doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with your marriage.
Now that we’ve covered some reasons why your husband won’t talk to you, let’s look at what you can do about it.
What Can I Do to Get My Husband to Talk to Me?
How you show up in the relationship directly impacts how the relationship unfolds.
You have the power to change the dynamic of your marriage for good. You don’t have to go to bed thinking ‘my husband never talks to me.’ Instead, you’ll go to bed feeling loved and cherished. But it all starts with you. As long as you don’t change, the relationship won’t change either.
A Cherished Wife takes responsibility for her needs.- Natasha & Jachym Jerie
Address Your Needs
Why do you want your husband to open up and talk to you?
What do you get out of it?
These are important questions. We want our spouse to behave a certain way because we believe that it’ll give us something. Rather than staying on the surface of what you want, find out what you really need.
Why is that?
Because once you understand what your needs are, you can fulfill them in various ways. You don’t have to depend on your husband to fulfill all of them. That’s why you have friends and family. Maybe your husband isn’t the guy who’ll be using a lot of words. That’s ok. You can find other people you can connect with through talking.
When you address your needs, you’ll be much more at peace when you’re with your husband. Without our needs met, we can pressure our spouse to do what we need from them. This often has the opposite effect of what we want: it pushed the other person further away rather than pulling them closer.
In our The Cherished Wife Program, we show you how you can become irresistible to your husband. Rather than pushing him away, he’ll be the one who pursues you. Gone are the days where you have to beg for attention, love, and affection. Instead, he’s initiating and creating fun date nights with you. Want him to have only eyes for you? Click here to reserve your spot now.
Become Comfortable With Silence
You just want to fill the silence so that you don’t have to feel the discomfort of not talking. If you don’t fill it with words, you fill it with thinking. If you want to get your husband to open up and talk, you have to become comfortable with silence.
Because it creates an environment where it’s ok not to talk. You communicate to your husband that you’re totally ok with him not speaking. Do you think he’ll open up to you when he feels accepted or when he feels pressured?
When you become comfortable with not speaking, you can start to connect with your spouse on a totally different level. You’ll start to feel your husband’s presence rather than hear his ideas about himself, you, your relationship, and life. It is this presence that most people crave but they seek it in the wrong place.
Live a Full Life
Routine kicks in.
You talk about the same things.
You ask the same questions.
Before you know it, you don’t know what to talk about anymore with your spouse. It doesn’t have to be this way. You can have endless topics to come back to with your spouse. But it requires you to stop living a life that’s totally shaped by habits.
Explore new hobbies, places, foods, skills, and ideas! When you do that, you have plenty to talk about with your husband and when he feels your excitement about these new adventures, he’ll be inclined to want to know more about them.
Passion isn’t found in romance, it’s found in living a life that’s true to you.- Natasha & Jachym Jerie
Let’s explore further how to get your husband to open up and talk with you in the next section.
How to Make Your Husband Want to Talk to You
You don’t have to beg.
You can have a husband who naturally wants to talk to you. Let’s see how you can contribute to your husband opening up and talking to you.
Create a Safe Home
If there’s a chance that you’re going to get:
- Made fun off
- Nagged at
You’re not going to open up. Why would you? The chances of getting hurt is simply too big. As this article shows: we all desire emotional safety in our marriage. If you want your husband to talk to you, you need to show him that it’s safe to do so. That’s why in our premium program The Cherished Wife we show you how you can get rid of all of these negative patterns and how you can replace them with empowering ones.
We’ll teach you how you can draw your husband closer and not push him further away. It’s like unlocking a secret superpower inside of you that he simply can’t resist. Head over here, to secure your spot now.
A safe home also means that it’s ok to make mistakes, which brings us to the next point.
Learn to Forgive
Your husband is going to screw up.
If he doesn’t, he isn’t human.
The question is: how are you going to respond to it? Are you going to bite his head off or are you going to take it in stride?
When your husband makes a mistake, you have a choice: make it worse by criticizing him and introducing conflict into your relationship, or you can let it go. For example, your husband had an accident with his car. Here’s how you can react:
You stupid idiot. I knew you couldn’t drive. Now what are we going to do? How are we going to pay the bills? You really didn’t see that pole, are you blind or something?!
Luckily, we have car insurance.
Thank god that you are ok. Don’t worry about the car, we’ll figure it out.
Which one do you think will give him the impression that you got his back and that he can trust you? It for sure isn’t the first one.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you become a doormat, it means that you let go of resentment, fear and anger.- Jachym Jerie
The more you can forgive for what has happened, the more you can find a loving response that isn’t going to harm the bond that you two have.
We all want to be valued.
The more you can show your husband that:
- He’s important to you
- You respect him
- You value his opinion
- You trust him
The more he’s going to open up to you. Do you see how appreciation is aligned to love while the bickering and criticizing is aligned to fear? In The Cherished Wife Program we help you see easily what behavior serves fear and what serves love. The more you get rid of the behaviors that are based in fear, the better your relationship will become.
Your husband wants to be heard and seen. He wants you to see his core, but he won’t let you in if you don’t create an emotionally safe home! If you’re ready to drop the negative behavior, then head over here and secure your spot now.
How to Get My Husband to Open up Emotionally
Talking isn’t enough, right?
You want to feel emotionally close to your husband. But how do you get him to open up emotionally? If you haven’t read the previous section, scroll up and read it now. The three points covered in there are the basics and will help your husband to open up. Without these basics, you don’t have a foundation to build on.
How to Help Your Husband to Open up Emotionally
There’s nothing as powerful as leading by example.
What does this mean?
You need to be vulnerable yourself. Being vulnerable is usually not comfortable. So if you’re happily sharing things without hesitation, then you aren’t being vulnerable. It’s about showing your husband the soft spots that you’re afraid to show him.
Because by doing that, you’re embodying what you’re asking him to do. Do you think it’s easy for him to open up emotionally to you? Nope. He probably is scared just like you are with certain topics. When you open up anyways and he feels your vulnerability, he’ll learn that it’s ok to do that.
Hold The Space
Your husband might be on the verge of sharing something that’s really scary for him but you dismiss him because you think he isn’t going to talk again. Holding the space for him will prevent that. You need to be there for him and let him come forward when he’s ready.
To hold the space means to drop any stories about how he just doesn’t talk to you. It means that you’re comfortable with silence. It means that you feel him, even when he doesn’t speak.
You can’t expect him to open up if you’re not fully there. You can’t be fully there if you’re all insecure about the lack of communication from your man. Do you see why we’ve covered all the other things before? They’re needed for things to change in your relationship.
In The Cherished Wife Program, we leave no stone unturned. We want you to have a life-transforming experience where you get to:
- Heal your wounds
- Learn how to communicate with him so he gets you
- Discover your feminine power
- Drop all your guards and feel your own beauty
- Bust through all your limiting beliefs about yourself and your relationship
- Discover your husband anew and bring out the best in him
We want you to walk away from this program feeling the deep love from your husband. Do you want that too?
Deep down, we all want to be connected. Love and connection is something we long for, no matter how different we are.
But when it comes to really opening up and talking from an intimate or vulnerable place, we want to do it when we feel safe and ready. Don’t you share the most when you feel comfortable and valued?
As much as you might’ve blamed your husband for not opening up and talking to you, the conversation is a two-way street. As couples, we’re constantly creating. Sometimes that creation is positive and welcomes your spouse in. While at other times, it fosters more distance and hurt.
That’s why creating a safe home, learning to forgive, and appreciating your husband are the foundational steps to get your husband to open up emotionally. You can hold the space for him.
Take one step today to better your relationship. May it be addressing your own needs, becoming comfortable with silence or living a full life, do one thing that is new to you. Change isn’t going to happen by repeating the same actions or patterns from the past.
To bring your relationship to the next level, you have to step beyond your comfort zone and try something new today. We’ve given you plenty of actional steps for you to take, just pick one today to implement. If you still have questions that are unanswered, check out the Frequently Asked Questions section below to see if any of these scenarios apply to you.
Remember, you’re the creator of your marriage. You have the power to shape it and fix it. Stop waiting for change to come. Do what it takes to turn things around so you can be a Cherished Wife today.
How to Get Your Husband to Talk to You After a Fight
All it does is to hurt each other. So what do you do after a fight?
- Take time to reflect and own your part of the fight.
- You can write him an apology letter if he isn’t willing to speak.
- Make sure you own your mistakes and don’t point fingers at him.
Your husband doesn’t have to talk to you. But you can increase the chances of him talking again by doing what we’ve suggested. Most importantly: be patient and give him time.
My Husband Refuses to Talk About Problems
Make sure you’ve read the whole article. Without creating:
- An emotional safe space
- Leading by example
Your husband won’t talk about your problems. Why? Because it isn’t safe to do so. If your husband has grown up in a violent environment, he might be even more afraid of conflict. It takes loving patience for him to see that it’s ok to address the problems.
A Cherished Wife trusts her husband. That’s why she doesn’t need to control him.- Natasha Koo
My Husband Refuses to Talk About Money
If your husband believes that it is his responsibility to provide enough money for your family, this topic can be a sensitive one.
Because his identity is wrapped up in it. He believes that his ability to earn a certain amount of money shows whether he’s good enough or not. Your husband might also not want to talk to you about money because this topic has always led to fighting.
My Husband Refuses to Talk About His Feelings
Have you tried to force him?
If he refuses, it sounds like this has been a hot topic for the both of you. You can’t force your husband to talk about his feelings; he’ll open up when he knows that it’s safe to do so. That’s why the section about ‘create a safe home’ above is so vital. You need to show him that he’s accepted and loved no matter what.
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