Do you get jealous often?
Has it started to hurt your relationship?
Maybe you’ve tried to open up communication with your partner. But the overwhelming feeling of jealousy made it really hard for you to speak from the heart.
If that’s the case then you have to know our effective four-step system that brings you closer together again.
How to apologize to your husband for being jealous:
- Get clear on what happened
- Forgive yourself
- Don’t make excuses
- Show that you take responsibility for your actions
If there’s no communication, there’s no relationship
If there’s no acceptance, there’s no future.
If you want to save your marriage, then this four-step system is what you need. Learn what you need to do to break free of jealousy, mistrust and disconnection. You can rebuild your marriage and avoid future mistakes right now. Read on to find out how.
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Get Clarity: Understand What’s Going On
Sarah looked at me with tears in her eyes and asked: ‘Is there a way out? I just get jealous!’
Sarah came to me as a client because jealousy had put a serious strain on the relationship. It drove her absolutely crazy:
- She wanted to know everything that her husband did.
- She demanded to see his phone on a regular basis.
- When he was at work, she wondered if he was having any contact with his female colleagues.
Sarah was stuck in a jealousy spiral and had no idea what to do.
She didn’t enjoy being jealous. Because of it, she had to regularly apologize. Her emotions got the better of her. This pattern has torn their marriage apart.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, keep reading on. You’ll learn the exact steps and tools you need to get unstuck and break free from the jealousy game. All it takes is your commitment and willingness to get your marriage back on track.
What Were You Thinking And Feeling?
You got carried away by jealousy and acted in a way that you regret now. You want to apologize to your husband for being jealous. But first, you have to understand the mechanism behind this new-jerk reaction.
Just apologizing won’t take care of the problem. Only true understanding will.
Reflect on these questions to gain more clarity:
- What were you thinking when you became jealous?
- What were you feeling in your body?
- What made you act up?
The better you understand how the jealousy blinds you, the better you can get a hold of it. Your behavior thrives on you not being conscious of it. When you don’t have clarity on what’s going on, you let the behavior run loose rather than confronting it.
Feelings are sensations in the body that we label as a certain feeling.– Jachym Jerie
Now ask yourself: What would happen if I just didn’t act on those thoughts and feelings? You see, as long as you keep believing the thoughts in your mind, that are filled with insecurities, you’ll be acting out.
By examining the underlying issue, you get to take back control and build a deeply intimate and loving relationship that’s grounded in trust. If you don’t do it, you’ll keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again. At some point, the apology won’t be taken seriously anymore because there’s no change.
Really consider whether you want to stay the same or whether you want to commit to an exceptional relationship. A healthy marriage that’s filled with trust, connection, and intimacy.
If you don’t commit to the marriage of your dreams, you won’t address those inner demons.
If you do commit, you can have a happy marriage where you’re deeply loved, valued and cherished.
Read on if you’re serious about creating the lasting love and partnership of your dreams.
Forgive Yourself For Being Jealous
We’ve all been there:
‘Ugh, I can’t believe I did it again! Why do I keep screwing up?’ Those kinds of thoughts are common when we’ve made a mistake.
Did the self-blame ever help you?
No. They only punish you and keep in the downward spiral. Blame doesn’t change your behavior; you just get stuck.
Because blame doesn’t allow you to address your fears and insecurities. It simply adds to them and makes the drama bigger.
Our sorrows and wounds are only healed when we touch them with compassion.– Buddha
By forgiving yourself, you open your mind and heart to truly learn from this experience. You aren’t jealous because you like it, you’re jealous because you’re insecure. By forgiving yourself and bringing compassion to the insecurity, you get to transform your life and relationship.
What kind of relationship is possible when you face your fears and insecurities?
When Jachym and I went through struggles in our own relationship, I often first blamed him. It was much later on when I realized that forgiveness was what I actually needed. Most of all, I needed it from myself.
Let me tell you, it’s no fun recognizing that I put myself into certain situations. I was the one who made poor choices. It was my doing that contributed to destroying our marriage.
I’m not listing these things out so you can see how well I blamed myself. No.
The key here that saved our marriage was my openness to forgive myself and embrace every mistake that I have made. Why? Because unless I did, the past had a hold on me. I would be living with the fear that the past would repeat itself. I wouldn’t be present with Jachym or contributing to our relationship.
So the only way to get over past mistakes and to actually avoid them in the future is to welcome all that has happened with open arms. Was it a raw, emotional experience? Heck yes.
But in the end, I developed such a strong sense of trust within myself that I knew I had the power to repair my relationship too. As long as you doubt yourself and are at odds with your mistakes, you’ll never have the confidence to rebuild your marriage.
Take it from my first hand experience. You need to face what you have done. You need to let it go. Only when you forgive yourself can you build an exceptional relationship. Life is too short for anything less than.
Don’t Make Excuses
No apology will ever be sincere if you don’t take ownership of what happened.
When you make excuses you:
- Don’t foster trust.
- Become a victim of circumstance.
- You’re powerless because you don’t acknowledge your creative power.
Making excuses just backfires on you because you let this pattern run wild. What if you could take full ownership of your reaction and break this negative cycle?
Here’s an example of how an apology to your husband for being jealous goes without excuses:
Yes, I got jealous and it sucks. I’m struggling with it and I don’t know what to do. I am going to do everything in my power to address this issue so that our relationship doesn’t have to suffer from it.
I’m sorry for what has happened. Please forgive me.
This one is filled with excuses:
I’m sorry I got jealous, but why do you have to talk to women like that? I just can’t help it! You really have to stop doing this. I mean yes, I got jealous but that’s only because of how you looked at her.
Do you see how in this apology there is no ownership? She’s saying that it’s actually the husband’s fault. She’s saying sorry, but then negates it. Her husband will probably become defensive and the conversation won’t lead to a resolution.
If you want to truly apologize to your husband for being jealous, excuses have no place in it.
How do you avoid excuses? By understanding what’s happened and by forgiving yourself. Many people blame themselves already, so they don’t want to take ownership because it would make the blame feel real.
You can take ownership without blame. They’re not the same thing. Knowing this can change the way you talk to your husband about your marriage.
Show That You Take Responsibility For Your Actions
How does your husband know that you won’t do it again?
He doesn’t. Unless you show him that you’re on top of this issue. You know, we all have wounds and insecurities that bring challenges into a relationship. But just because you have them doesn’t mean that you let them be.
You’re suffering when you get jealous, not addressing the underlying issue just keeps it in place. When you take on the attitude of avoidance, the amount of freedom in your life gets minimized.
Before you know it, you and your husband can’t do anything anymore because it’ll hurt your feelings. Who wants to have a relationship where your partner has to walk on eggshells all the time? Doesn’t it make sense to put the big girl pants on and actually address the triggers in the first place? Avoidance separates you and your partner further apart while courage brings you closer together.
Your insecurities aren’t something you want to protect. You want to expose them so that they can heal.– Jachym Jerie
Here’s how you can show that you’re taking responsibility for your actions:
I’m sorry for what happened last night. I got really jealous and I embarrassed you and myself in front of our friends. I feel helpless when it happens. I just get really jealous when I see you talk to another woman.
I’m committed to changing this as it’s hurting our relationship. I don’t want you to have to put up with this behavior. It’s not your fault. I want to get to the bottom of this issue so that it can be addressed.
I’ve already found someone who can help me.
Let’s break it down:
- You’re apologizing to your husband for being jealous and how you acted.
- You let him know how you feel when it happens.
- You tell him you’re committed to change.
- You show that you’ve taken steps to solve the issue.
If you don’t show your commitment with actions, it’s just empty air. You need to walk your talk. As much as communication is important in a marriage, not following through with what you’ve discussed makes it pointless.
There you have it! We’ve now covered the fundamentals that will strengthen your relationship. You now have the tools to:
- Understand what’s behind your jealousy and the thoughts and feelings involved
- Forgive yourself and your mistakes
- Stop making any excuses
- Take the responsibility to bring your marriage forward.
Yes, you can do all of that with the tips, questions and exercises that we’ve given you. All you have to do today is the very first step. Ask the three questions to get clarity on your jealousy.
You aren’t your mistakes.
You aren’t your actions.
We’re not here to hold the past against you. So you shouldn’t do that to yourself.
If you want love that is loving, kind, fulfilling and healthy then do this for yourself. Your marriage can transform completely. It’s literally in your hands right now.
Will you throw away all the tools and knowledge that you’ve gained until now?
Or will you take that first step and bring you and your spouse forward to a brighter and happier future?
You’re more powerful than you think.
You’re more courageous than you think.
You’re more capable than you think.
You can do this.
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