[EP24] How to Make Your Husband Appreciate You in 3 Simple Steps

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What Episode 24 Is About:

As women, we tend to be givers. But what if you feel like all your time and efforts aren’t reciprocated by your man?

If you’re thinking ‘my husband doesn’t appreciate what I do’ then this episode is for you. You can stop wondering ‘how to make him realize my value.’

The answers you’re looking for are in this episode: from how to be appreciated by your husband to why you don’t have to MAKE him appreciate you.

Tune in to out the natural and subliminal ways on how to get him to appreciate you because your man truly sees and values you.

Show-Notes:

  • Ways to show appreciation in a relationship
  • How to make your husband appreciate you again
  • How to be appreciated in a relationship

Resources Mentioned:

Transcript

 

Natasha Welcome back to the twenty fourth episode of the Awakened Wife podcast, I’m Natasha Koo. 

Jachym  And I’m Jachym Jerie. And we are from your exceptionalrelationship.com. 

Natasha  Today, we are going to carry on a whole series about appreciation. This time are going to be covering how to make your husband appreciate you more or to appreciate you again. If once upon a time, a long, long time ago, he he did show appreciation. So how do you get him to kind of do that again when it seems like he no longer chooses to do that anymore? 

Jachym  That’s right. And I think it’s a really important topic that has a certain universal universality to it, as there are lots of women who feel like they’re doing it all. And I feel like, you know, in a lot of cultures it is ingrained where, like the woman doesn’t feel appreciated. She is in the household and she’s doing it all and he doesn’t care. And so there’s there’s a lot of resentment in it. And I do feel that it has an overarching relevance, that it’s not just pertaining to the individual, but it’s almost like something that feels collective. 

Natasha Yeah. And I think partially and we definitely cover this in previous episodes, is that expectation, whether it’s from the outside, from society, from in-laws or even from yourself, there’s that expectation to perform and do certain things. But with that expectation is almost like a duty. Yeah. That you’re born into or like, oh, this just the role of the wife or the caretaker or whatever it might be. And and then you kind of find yourself in this situation where you say you’re saying yes to things that you think you should do. So you’re doing things that you feel like you should your to do list. Your days are filled with those tasks and it might not necessarily be aligned with what you truly want. Right. And that kind of I mean, it’s a very normal thing. Most of us do fill our lives with things that are unintentional, things that we don’t necessarily like, consciously choose to, but we kind of habitually just do. And that happens within relationships and especially within the home where you just kind of go there and you let your hair down and you relax and then you kind of go into autopilot. So sometimes that that whole dynamic turns into this autopilot where you’re just living and doing all these expectations that you have for yourself. And as the years go on before you know it, you’re still doing these things, but there’s no appreciation for it. And you wonder to yourself, what the heck am I doing? Why should I keep doing this if it means nothing to nobody else? So that’s probably the point that you hit when you listen to this episode and you’re like, well, no, I do want more appreciation from my husband. So how do I get that? Right. 

Jachym But let’s be a bit more specific. I mean, look, what if you listen to his episode? What do you want? I mean, you want to be swept off your feet. You want to be cherished, you want to be loved. You want to feel his desire for you. You want him to to value you, to appreciate you, to make your priority, to give you the feeling like, you know, as trade as it sounds to be his queen. Right. That he really is into you and loves you and wants you and wants to be with you and wants to have a life with you. I mean, we’re not talking about because some people are like or women are like, well, if you just would say thank you. Yeah, sure. That’s a start. But come on, we’re from your exceptional relationship, dotcom. We’re calling exceptional relationship. What’s exceptional about saying thank you? Yes, that’s that’s a good start. But what I’m the underlying energy of wanting appreciation is this desire of being cherished, this desire of feeling special, this desire of you matter and you’re together and you are this power couple of years synergetic couple that takes on the world together. I mean, when you when you listen to this, that’s so much more than I just want a bit more appreciation. I want a bit more appreciation. Almost sounds like. Yeah, I’m not quite happy, but at least might get some appreciation. I feel better. And we were like, well hold on a second, there’s so much more you can have. The relationship can be exceptional and the relationship can be a ground for you to design your life and your lifestyle with your husband. That influences everything. I mean, as we say, you heal your heart. You transform your relationship and with that you revolutionize the world, and that is in every topic you can see, it set the bar low and just get some basic needs met or get some basic niceness in your relationship. Or you can set your bar high and aim for the stars and create the relationship of your dreams and not just be like, well, I’m playing it safe. So a little habit change would be nice. Yeah. 

Natasha  To put that into perspective is pretty much like when someone has a cut or a wound and like the little kid who got hurt, who scratched their knees like, oh, wow, it hurts. And then a parent comes like blows on it, like, oh, it’s OK. And, like, comfort the child. The parent just comforted the child, the wound is still there, still going to hurt, but for like a split second, they felt a bit comforted. And that’s what we don’t necessarily want to cover on this episode like that momentary like your parent just blowing on it and helping you do that for five seconds, even though a minute from now is going to start hurting again because that comfort is gone. That is so temporary. It doesn’t make the wound go away or the pain go away. That one still needs to heal, you know. So sometimes when we’re looking for that. Thank you. You think that’s that’ll solve everything? If only he reacted differently and he showed me that appreciation and that gratitude like like then it’s all worth it, but doesn’t make the wound go away. Right. That temporary comfort reminds me of us, um, a situation when we were doing coaching and back in the day it was, you know, beyond the scope of relationships to and we were helping a woman with her career and finding more meaning in that. And we were asking her, like, what kind of work would you like? You know, what changes would you like to have in your career? And to answer that she gave to us was like, well, I like a thank you would be nice from time to time. Kind of exactly what you said, kind of. But in the marriage context. But for hers regarding her career. OK, so someone thanking you. It’s nice from time to time. It sure might be. You know, you feel appreciated for the task that you’ve done. Maybe you go home in a better mood, but that in no way guarantees that you’re going to feel fulfilled, happy, purposeful and motivated on your job like that doesn’t give you long term success and fit in alignment to that work. Yeah, it’s just a temporary little motivation and rah rah cheerleading from someone else to acknowledge you. For that day, because the next day you’re going to show up at work and you’re going to feel the same looking for someone else to compliment you or to thank you again so that your day is worth it. So it’s not sustainable looking for these short term. You know, signs of of, um, appreciation or gratitude, because that doesn’t fill your belly like that’s not the feeling we’re looking for when we’re saying, how can I make my husband appreciate me? This question, actually, you’re you’re looking at something much deeper, something much more than that. And like like you said, there’s so much more to relationships that such aspirational aspects that you can be and live. That’s just beyond those small exchanges where you feel validated, right? So pretty much just brings us into the topic of how do you make your husband realize your value or your worth? 

Jachym  Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And this is this is an important topic. But often it’s it’s phrased in a way where it’s like, well, I have to make him realize the value. And it’s like, well, hold on a second. If you know your value, he will know your value as well. So when you know your value and when we say value, we don’t look at you like a commodity, because if you’re careful, you’re going to look at that, be like, well, you’re a commodity. And he has to realize your value as a commodity. That in itself is already devaluing yourself. Right. So we’re starting off with the question, but we want to move it beyond that, because what we were saying is that if you are grounded in yourself, if that question of value doesn’t even come up anymore, you’re your husband knows your value, but he’s not going to think in terms of value. He’s going to give you the respect that you want. He’s going to give you the love that you want simply because of how you’re holding yourself, how you are being with yourself. And if there’s behavior that’s going against that, that innate knowing of your goodness, the knowing of that, you’re good enough then knowing that you’re beautiful, that you’re sexy, that you’re an amazing woman, that innate knowing determines everything else. And it’s like, well, I need him to value me. Well, how about you start with yourself? And rather than than thinking about him, what if you look at all the insecurities that you’re having around not being valued? And how can you make him do that and stop trying to do that and come back to yourself and dismantle those insecurities and come back to that innate goodness that you have that is not conditional. You don’t have to twist yourself to be good. It is that story that you have to do something different, that you’re not good enough as you are, that makes you be perceived as someone is low value, even though I hate that term, to be honest. 

Natasha  And this also reminds me of certain patterns we play out, you know, someone who maybe grew up in a household where they were constantly put down by their parents, criticized or just told, you’re not good enough like you need to do better. When they grow up, maybe in a workplace or even within the relationship, they’re still trying to find out approval from from other people and that can persist. And maybe it has nothing to do with your actual relationship or how well you’re doing on the job. You could be like a straight a like like just succeeding in whatever you do. And you’re a perfectionist and an overachiever. You could be doing super well. But that’s not what you’re looking for. You’re looking for that validation from the outside and from from sometimes from what we’ve seen with our clients. Um. Sometimes people even choose partners who are as critical as, yeah, maybe, say, their parent back in the past, someone who is so hard to please, someone who has a tendency not to show appreciation, you know, someone who has a tendency to be picky or not do pretty much what you want them to write in the in this case. So it’s it’s really, um, valuable to know that. You know, all these pieces fit together, we’re talking about feeling appreciate it here and feeling worthy here and the context is looking at your spouse and whether they show it to you or not. But sometimes there are a lot of underlying patterns with our own behavior as a woman where we set ourselves up almost for failure to constantly be disappointed in ourselves because we can’t get enough enough approval from anyone, you know, and with past clients, like sometimes you don’t recognize that that’s the loop they’re in and that they’ve chosen certain people in their lives where there’s just so hard to please and has nothing to do with their worth or their value. Um, but once you actually see through that that pattern that you’re playing out. It drops like this urgent need to be seen, to be valued, to be heard, to be appreciated, you know, to to to to to feel like you’re here for a reason and you matter all that can just disappear. And it’s such a freeing place to be when you no longer have to chase that feeling. 

Jachym Hmm, absolutely. I think it’s really vital to to see that you need to break the cycle. Need to break the cycle of needing this kind of appreciation so that you can feel good enough about yourself, start with feeling good enough, good enough about yourself first, and then the rest will follow. 

Natasha  And when we talk about this neediness because. It’s coming from a place of desperation, you want to feel good, you want to feel better, you don’t, right? So you’re trying everything you can to make your husband appreciate you to do more, whatever it is you know, you’re just trying to get a good feeling back. And oftentimes when you’re in that kind of position, you do things that actually ruin what you have, whether you’re pushing your husband away or you’re pulling you’re forcing him to do certain things. And it just doesn’t work out. Like when you come from this energy, the behaviors that end up happening often don’t work out for you. So I will actually be covering this more on the next episode, because we because today, you know, we’re covering all our bases and we’re trying to show you the context that we’re coming from because we don’t teach like your average relationship coach. We’re fundamentally trying to help you to transform your marriage so that you can stay together happily in in a very empowering way for the rest of your life and for you to be happy with yourself in that marriage for the rest of your life. We’re not here to just, like, get a thank you here and there. So we recognize also that sometimes it’s that urgency, you know, that that that neediness to get that feeling straight away. So if that’s you make sure the next 

Jachym episode around neediness. Absolutely. And I think we need to look a little bit closer at breaking the cycle because I think there’s some more pieces there. And as Natasha said, we really want to change those fundamental patterns. And that’s why we in the Cherished Wife program, we have those three pillars that we always talk about and that we mention in this podcast because they are a solution that works and that works together rather than just looking at the tip of the iceberg and getting that little yes or no thank you. You get actually a relationship that’s on a very sturdy foundation. So breaking the cycle. Yes, you can look at, OK, recognizing your innate value or recognizing that value, not values really, or just mind constructs. So breaking free from that. And if you’re like, well, you know, I know I’m valuable. Are you sure you do? Because a lot of women are defining themselves through doing certain things and then getting the appreciation so they buying into a certain role and the value they have is fulfilled through that role. That’s really flawed because your role can change just because you have a different role doesn’t mean that your value has disappeared. There’s something that’s innately valuable or innately good or that doesn’t really have value or no value that’s just always here. And as long as you keep defining yourself through a role, whether that’s a traditional gender role, where it’s like, well, the woman takes care of the household, man goes and earns again, you have bought into a very narrow concept. And it’s it’s the same thing when you when you go in the opposite direction where it’s like, well, we don’t have traditional gender roles, we are all equal and all of that. You are back into a certain idea about how the relationship should be rather than following that innate energy that wants to be expressed in the relationship that has no that doesn’t care about value or not value. It’s about being raw and real in this moment. And we don’t see that today. We see always models, mental ideas, mental construct the people have to buy into and that they define the worth on a need to break free of that because then you’re actually free. Everything else is always conditional. 

Natasha Yeah. And here are three tips or ways to make your husband appreciate you more. Or again, that’s not based on manipulation. That’s not based on just getting a thank you here and there. And it’s the fundamental shifts that you make within yourself or the dynamic you have with your husband so that you’re set up for that fuzzy, warm feeling within you where you start chasing it from him, in fact. Right. 

Jachym So, I mean, the very first step we already covered in great detail. Right. The breaking of the cycle of habitually defining yourself and getting the word through, having a certain role. And so I think that step we don’t need to 

Natasha I’ll just summarize it real quick. So. You can stop chasing this feeling of appreciation from your partner. It sounds counterintuitive, but here’s why it works when we are trying to get. Appreciation from our husband, it starts off not just asking or stating our desire for for his gratitude. We are starting first through action, so we are doing something because we innately feel that we’re not worthy, we’re not enough, clearly we need to produce something, change something, improve the home, do something of value in order to for others to see our value. So we can’t just be ourselves. We have to do something. So there’s the action taking. We do it not necessarily because of joy or we want to if we feel inspired to write something, we truly want to, we do it because we want to feel worthy. We want to be appreciated. So that’s the energy that comes from action one. And then from there, it’s not enough for us because we just outputted. We’ve lost energy, you know, trying to create this impact outside, externally, and we look around for validation. Your husband probably didn’t even notice what the heck you just did. Right. And you get disappointed. And then from there, you either nag at him or you try to say, hey, didn’t you like did you notice I did that for you? Or like, hey, have you noticed? I’ve been doing that for weeks and months. And at that point he’s like, oh, OK. Yeah, I guess. Thanks, you know, like, well, this is it doesn’t really get it right and then that makes you feel not appreciated. So then you try to do it all over again. You’re like, well, I guess I didn’t do good enough. Let me start all over. I guess I had to do more and more frequently or do in front of his face. So then you take action. Not from a place. Of joy, of your enough, you’re doing it from a depleted place, and so then you do it with a bit more resentment and more bitterness, a bit more grudges against him. Um, and then you wait for him to react and show you that gratitude. Right. Which he most likely won’t because you’re coming from that bitterness, you know, that actionist from that bitterness and then it spirals. So this cycle, you know. It it fuels this it’s this disempowerment, and you’re set up to feel disappointed, you’re set up to go against your partner and you’re set up to go against yourself because you’re not even alive. Those actions are not aligned with who you really are and what you really want. So the first step is to stop this chase, both the action taking and chasing his reaction from that action taking. So that’s number one. Absolutely. 

Jachym  And just so to be clear, you can see and this as you listen to his podcast, you’ll see more and more that there’s a certain systematic ness that’s not really worth much because I just created it to what we were doing. One is always you need to come to yourself. So this is in our cherished life program is called Unleash Your Inner Goddess. If you’re always in the projection about what’s wrong with your partner, you’re not acknowledging where you’re holding back or where you are stuck in it. Disempowering cycle, where you are stuck in habitual patterns that are not yours, basically lies that you have bought into where you are guarding your heart and not showing up as authentic and as beautiful and as sexy as you actually are. That’s the first step. You got to start with yourself. And then we come to the second step, which is actually creating a harmonious relationship. That’s why it’s called harmonious love as a pillar in our church life program. Harmonious love means that you stop bringing in fears and insecurities into the relationship because fears and insecurities drain the relationship. A relationship is. He’s here to be a conduit of love. A relationship needs love like a flower needs water and sun. Without those, those things to flower will perish. It’s the same thing with the relationship. If the relationship simply is stuck and fears and insecurities, you get manipulation tactics, you get blackmail’s, emotional blackmail, you get power struggles and all of that. Now that relationship goes through. That phase is often normal. However, you need to align yourself to love and align yourself to love means to let go of those insecurities and fears. And what does that specifically mean now? In this case? It means that you create a culture of gratitude. Many women are scared to be grateful unconditionally, uh, because they lose power, you know, they like I’m only going to be grateful when he does the right thing. I want to go to appreciate him if he does the right thing, because if I appreciate him, otherwise, he’s not going to have motivation to, you know, do the right thing. No, no, no, no, no. When you do it this way again, you’re backing the fear where he’s trying to manipulate with goodness. How about you become grateful for the relationship and you create a culture within the relationship of gratitude when there’s a culture in your relationship of gratitude, of course, he’s going to show appreciation because that is how the relationship works. But you have to embody that yourself so that you’re not asking him to do something that you’re not bringing in yourself. Right. 

Natasha  Hmm. And so that’s step number two, 

Jachym that’s step number two. That’s right. And let’s go to the third step. You can take that one. 

Natasha All right. So tap into his desire to actually make you happy. 

Jachym  Hmm, that’s right. This is a big one. And we are talking about this and have talked about it many times. And we’ll keep talking about it many times because it is something that many women don’t realize. Like men like to see the woman that they’re with, wife or girlfriend, happy. They, like them, seem happy, satisfied and fulfilled, like we are not in a relationship so that I can see my wife suffer and be miserable and have to complain and nag and all of that. I’m not in a relationship because of that. I want to be in a relationship so I can share the joy together. Now we can empower each other that we can see that we appreciate each other and I can see you thrive. And so if you. Tap into this desire like he has this innate desire of wanting to see you this way. Of course, he’s going to show gratitude, but you have to help him see what’s important to you. I’m not a mind reader, I don’t know what’s important to Natasha, and I can tell you right now, at the beginning, we had a lot of conflict and a lot of disagreement because we were misaligned in our expectations of what love means, how we express love, what appreciation means. And if you have this mismatch. You’re not going to get anywhere, so if you’re wondering where it is fits in the church life program, this is inside your man’s brain because you’re tapping into a primal desire that he has. Yeah. 

Natasha And this particular point, tapping into his desire to make you happy. Maybe if it’s the first time that you’ve heard of this before, you might be thinking like, what does that have to do with getting him to appreciate me again or appreciate me more? Like that’s that’s that’s far from it. You know, clearly, I’m trying to make him do the right thing. Like, what’s that desire of his? Like, if he truly desired to appreciate me, he would have done it by now. So is that desire even there? Because from the evidence, he’s not grateful for what I do. He doesn’t appreciate me. So I’m not sure that he has that innate desire to appreciate me. Right. Like you might be thinking that in your head because from how he’s behaving. Right. But I want to say that all these three points work together, right? Yeah. Dropping that cycle of that action, taking and that disappointment and pushing him to a certain way. And the second one was 

Jachym creating a space of 

Natasha  gratitude and a now tapping into his desire. All three work together. And it’s a shift. It’s a shift. Because whether you see the evidence or not, he does want to please you, like I said, and you can hear him often talk about this in this special bonus man cave episode where you saw him on this podcast, because I’m by himself. Right. And shares that man’s perspective. He does want to please you. He does want to love you and appreciate and care for you. But if we don’t set things up for gratitude, if we’re still stuck trying to get. Like like a tooth nail, like trying to get that appreciation out of him, you’re still coming from this energy that forceful. Yeah. And you’re pushing him and you’re trying to squeeze it out of him. And yes, he’s he really deep down might have the desire to want to appreciate you, but not when he’s pushed in this manner. And so that’s why in our coaching program, the Cherished Wife program, we have to unleash your inner goddess pillar because we don’t have to, as a woman, force our man in these ways to get the appreciation out of him. It actually has to do with tapping into our femininity, taking care of ourselves, doing things because we want to we enjoy it. We want to give, not because we’re doing things so we can try to squeeze something out of him, almost like a manipulative kind of way. Manipulation might sound like a very strong word, but it’s something probably that you’ve seen your mother do your grandma do your best friend do in their intimate relationships in trying to get what they want from their partners. Right. But you don’t have to repeat this because it rarely works and it really pushes your man away. So this is something that we help when we coach, you know, the women who come to us. We help women to tap into this softness, to take care of herself, to choose the things that she actually desires so that he begins to see how you are enjoying yourself, how you are welcoming love in your being receptive versus like, hey, here’s your sandwich. Where’s my. Thank you. Like, well, no one wants to deal with that. 

Jachym And it’s just to cut in here. Like, can you feel the difference of energy of what Natasha just described before, which is this beautiful openness flowing that’s using your desire, receiving love and then the contrast. Here’s your desire. Here’s your sandwich. Here’s my thank you. Like that just energetically is such a difference. And I just wanted to highlight that because you need to realize that one of them is transactional. The other one is not transactional. It is inspirational. I draw something out of your man. Yeah. 

Natasha And so it’s wonderful that we’re able to help the woman who we teach to connect back to that part of herself because it’s natural. As woman, we want to relax. We want to surrender. We want to receive love. And oftentimes we’ve forgotten how. And we end up taking on those, um, techniques, tactics or strategies that woman we’ve witnessed in the past do and try to get from their partners. And maybe it works once or twice, but it doesn’t work all the time for me. 

Jachym  It’s not just that it’s been that you have forgotten how to do it. It’s more that those tactics are coming from fear that you’re you want love, but you’re fearful because receiving love means to be open and you’re afraid of getting hurt. So you’re coming from a guarded place and the cherished life program. We help you open that space. And just as a little side note here, in my opinion, femininity is way underrated in society, the feminism we’re seeing nowadays. As a lot more to do with masculinity, I’m like, OK, so we are like men. Well now how about you’re like amazing women that men can be cannot be a woman, you can’t be a man. And so feminine in the way that we are describing it is so underrated and has so much potential to do good in the world because it brings a different energy that is very much missing. Hmm. 

Natasha And so those are our three tips and ways that you can get your husband to appreciate you for the long term fundamental shift in your relationship. That’s not just a thank you here and there. It’s going to change how you interact with one another, how he sees you, how you’re being with yourself, you even intimacy and connection. It’s healing 

Jachym and attraction. 

Natasha Yeah. So all of those things we actually covered in those three steps, we actually have a whole blog post which breaks this down even further. So if that was really interesting to you and you want to know more how you can, you know, apply that to your relationship, make sure to head over to the show notes, which is your exceptional relationship, dot com for Shlash 24, two for the numbers, and then you can get everything that we mentioned. 

Jachym Yeah, just as a closing word, you really can have an exceptional relationship. You can have a relationship where you feel cherished, taking care of loved, appreciated, desired, where you feel like, you know, you are his goddess, you’re his number one and he shows it to you. He he does the things for you that you love and you love receiving. He loves giving. And you give to each other. You empower each other, you lift each other up and you’re living a relationship that’s true to you, defined by you, not by what society thinks, not by what we necessarily are saying. It is defined by what is close to your heart and what nourishes your soul. And you can have that. And when you have that, you can nourish the world. 

Natasha Yeah, and is wonderful because it’s not exhausting. It’s not like trying to press that lemon that’s out of juice. 

Jachym  Exactly. 

Natasha Um, and so there’s one question that we got for this episode. Oh yeah. 

Jachym  I forgot. 

Natasha Which is, um, how do you show appreciation in a relationship? Because we we talked about how to get it from your partner, but how how can anyone show it, 

Jachym you know, so there’s different layers to it. Right. There’s appreciation which is kind of culturally accepted, which can come to a thank you here or a flower. They are doing something thoughtful for someone else. They are often culturally conditioned. They they are in the family that you’ve grown up, these certain rituals that show appreciation. But there is a deeper appreciation which has not as much to do with the words that you’re doing or saying or the gestures that you’re doing. It’s heartfelt, like you feel that energy. You just love your partner. You appreciate for them to be here with you in this life, in that relationship, and to show this level of appreciation. It’s less about what do I do? What do I say? It is about connecting honestly and truthfully to the appreciation. In your heart, and when you when you connect to that, then it flows out and you have various expressions, right? 

Natasha Hmm. So the most obvious ones you’re mentioning is that, yes. You can say thank you. Yes. You can buy a gift back. Yes, you can. If someone did something for you, then you make them a meal or so. Those forms of appreciation, sometimes they’re culturally inform their habitual and sometimes they can be based on this equation of balancing the books of, oh, you did that for me. So I better return that favor that after that time you’ve spent with something that I do right. To kind of 

Jachym thank you or 

Natasha something. Yeah. To balance it out. Right. Like the monkey. I scratch your back, you scratch mine kind of thing. And if you’ve listened to us well you know our work long enough by now, you know that that’s not really the foundation of an exceptional relationship. So what you point it towards is not those habitual ways of of of just saying thank you. And gratitude and appreciation is actually feeling it, seeing it, feeling it. Even without your partner necessarily doing anything of a value in order for you to respond, yes. Right. So you don’t need that equation of the action and then the reaction to confirm their value. 

Jachym Absolutely. And I do think, uh, just as a side note, that there is value in learning different ways of showing appreciation. You and your partner may not have the same way of expressing appreciation. And so you are like, wow, I am showing appreciation. What do you mean I’m not showing appreciation? I just bought you flowers. Like, that’s a sign of appreciation that a person doesn’t get it because they want a thank you. Right. So there is value in learning to direct the energy of appreciation and to you to kind of find ways that your partner understands. So that requires communication. But ultimately, if it just becomes a limitation and there’s no heartfelt ness in it, then you’re not really going to get there. You’re not getting the real benefit. And your partner may not even know the real depth that appreciation really can take when you drop away from just habitual ness and habitually receiving. I did this. Thank you all. Great. He said thank you. That’s actually not really receiving appreciation. And so that’s why we’re like there’s a deeper level to appreciation, which is a openness in your heart and openness in your partner’s heart and the appreciation to really feel it and express it. And then it’s on the energy level that both of you feel and receive in exchange that appreciation. That is not transactional. 

Natasha Yeah, and I think we do cover this and we help women with this within our coaching program. Yeah, absolutely. Because the first step in order to receive and to give appreciation in this deep, deep, soul nourishing way is to actually guard your heart, to be vulnerable when you do receive and be touched by the smallest things. And then every day in your relationship, it becomes really a magical like the other day I was like, he was in the middle of the night. I don’t know why I like, woke up, but I was literally in bed and then I was looking at him and he was sleeping. He wasn’t snoring, but he was sleeping. He wasn’t doing anything right. But then I heard it was like very, very early in the morning. The sun wasn’t even up yet, but I already heard the birds chirping and then I heard the birds and they were just lying there. And I had such appreciation, just such gratitude in my heart for that moment. Like for myself, for the bird, for that morning, for him, nothing was happening. There was nothing of value or no one did anything. But I felt such gratitude and I felt such appreciation for everything. And sometimes we’re used to that action taking or like trying to make our partner see us value. Appreciate us. You lose all these moments throughout your day and within your relationship where gratitude is there, appreciation is there with or without this action or thank you or whatever gifts or flowers or whatever it is that you think you need, it’s there. So when you heal from within and you build this beautiful, I guess, dynamic connection with your partner again and you heal those things and transform your relationship, you’re blessed with all these moments of appreciation and gratitude and you don’t have to look for it. It comes to you. So that’s the gift that I hope you take away from this episode. It’s like, oh, you can be touched throughout your day and it’s wonderful. 

Jachym Absolutely. So in the next episode, we’re going to be looking at neediness and how that is playing out in relationships and you know, well, creating, again, a series around it and how you can transform the energy of neediness and come back to fullness and wholeness. And then you’re going to be in a relationship that is based on, um, how you say abundance 

Natasha rather than like. Yeah, that’s it. And so thanks for joining us today. If you want more information, such as, you know, the blog post that we talked about, where we cover this episode of appreciation in more detail, or you want to get free resources that we have for you or the transcript, just head over to the show notes, which is your exceptional relationship, dot com for twenty four numbers two, four. And then, yeah, you can get all that you need there. 

Jachym [01:53:31] All right. See you on the next one. Take care. Bye.

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