When you first met, everything felt like rainbows and butterflies. He’d stare at you for ages, mesmerized at how beautiful your eyes are. He pursued you and made you feel like his queen.
Your love for him grew the more he showered you with affection. But as years have gone by, the love and desire he once had for you waned.
He tells you that he loves you and that he doesn’t need to show it. He says that it’s something that you should know already.
So you find yourself frustrated and wanting his affection back yet you aren’t sure if you’re really starved for affection.
‘Is it all in your head?’ you wonder.
If only there were sure signs to know whether you are starved for affection from your husband or not.
We have the clarity that you need with the 5 signs that show whether you are starved for affection from your husband. But before we reveal our list, we’ve got another present for you.
It’s possible to transform a hopeless marriage into one that is better than the honeymoon phase. You just need the right help and resources to get back on track.
Step one of this process is to know the signs you are starved for affection from your husband.
Let’s get started.
Do You Make These Relationship Mistakes?
Get Your FREE Assessment!
- Discover TOXIC communication mistakes that ruin your marriage
- Get 4 SIMPLE steps to understand and fix your relationship
What Lack Of Affection Can Do To You?
Affection is vital to our well-being. As the book “The Power of Touch” by Phyllis K. Davis explores, infants deprived of any touch and speech simply died, despite having all their physical needs met.
Not only is affection important for kids, but it also stays vital for adults as well.
- We are a team
- You matter
- I hear you
- I feel you
- I see you
- I value you
Without affection, these statements get lost and you start to feel lonely or depressed. As this paper suggests, lack of affection is one of the top reasons couples seek counseling.
An Exceptional Relationship defines its own normal.-Natasha and Jachym Jerie
What Is A Normal Amount Of Affection In A Relationship?
What you think is normal can be perceived as smothering by your partner. There’s no fixed dose of affection that all couples need to adhere to.
The amount of affection someone needs depends on:
- Their love language
- The current life situation
- The upbringing
- The situation in the relationship
You can sometimes really crave affection because you’re going through an emotionally challenging time. But then other times you’re ready to take on the world and really don’t want to be too affectionate.
The right amount of affection for your relationship is determined by you and your partner. But sometimes, what our partners consider to be enough doesn’t actually satisfy our need for affection.
Are you just overthinking or being too demanding?
Find out with these signs that’ll help you see if you’re starved for affection or not.
5 Signs You Are Starved for Affection from Your Husband
1. Feeling Lonely
Your husband is busy at work. He comes home very late and barely notices you. Before you know it, he has crawled into bed and is asleep. But what about you?
The lack of affection can lead you to feel lonely even though you’re married. If you find yourself craving human interaction and feeling like no one cares about you, you might be deprived of affection from your husband.
2. You Believe He Doesn’t Care
Affection shows you that he cares. You know that you matter through the way he treats you. The way he looks at you, touches you, and talks to you, let you know that you are important to him.
When affection goes out the window, you believe that:
- I don’t matter
- I am last for him
- He just doesn’t love me anymore
He still might deeply care for you but be too preoccupied with other things in life. But your feeling that you don’t matter might just be a symptom that you’re starved for affection.
3. You Become Easily Irritated at Him
When our needs aren’t being met, we tend to be more easily agitated. Small things start to tick you off and you don’t quite know why. You start to criticize and nag at him over small issues that become very important to you.
When we talk to our clients, we find that many of the surface issues are only symptoms of what’s happening underneath the surface. Your irritation might just be an indication that you lack affection in your relationship.
4. Your Mind Starts to Go Crazy
Here’s what happens when we don’t feel loved:
Our mind starts to create stories about our partner, the relationship and ourselves. They go something like this:
Maybe this relationship just isn’t right for me. I can’t take it anymore. He’s too busy. Don’t I matter to him? We already tried talking about it and it leads nowhere. Maybe I’m just not lovable enough. Or is he seeing someone else?
This story goes on and on and your mind takes all the ‘evidence’ that it’s not working. You’re thinking, ‘I can’t get affection from my husband- should I leave?’
Before you know it, you have a solid case against your relationship that’s built on all kinds of superficial reasons. But what’s really going on is that you lack affection from your husband.
You know that this is true when you do get some affection and suddenly everything looks great again.
The mind can’t help us with our emotions. Only our heart can do that.– Jachym Jerie
5. Feeling Anxious
Affection from our partners can reassure us that they care. The lack of affection can therefore be unsettling.
- Does he still love me?
- Does he care about me?
- Have I said something wrong?
- Is he going to leave me?
These are all thoughts coming from the lack of assurance that you do matter to him. If you find that you’re anxious, especially about your relationship, it could indicate that you need more affection from your partner to let you know that you’re still his number one.
Starved For Affection Symptoms
We’ve covered various signs that you are starved for affection from your husband. But there are some more symptoms that can show up like:
- Body image issues
- Anger issues
- High stress levels
- Mental health issues like depression
- Sexual dysfunction
- Relationship dissatisfaction
- Difficulty sleeping
If you’re like us, you’ll be thinking that these symptoms are very vague. There are all kinds of other things that can play into a symptom like anger or fatigue.
This is why we recommend paying attention to the feelings and the stories your mind creates. These things can be a bit more concrete than some of the other symptoms.
Why Am I So Starved For Affection?
The reason why you’re starved for affection could be that you and your partner have a mismatch in your love languages. This mismatch can cause you and your partner don’t feel that the other cares. He’s busy cleaning the kitchen while you’re waiting for him to cuddle you.
He thinks he’s showing you love through cleaning while you are waiting to receive love through the cuddles.
Do you see how this can go south very quickly?
You Live in a Touch Averse Country
Some cultures don’t value physical touch, which can lead to touch starvation. Touch is something that is needed for a healthy human being. It’s one of the primary communication pathways we have when we’re a baby.
If you find yourself craving for affection- especially physical touch- go to the spa and get yourself a massage. It can be perfect for your mental and physical well-being to get a regular massage.
If going to the spa doesn’t do the trick, then you can head on this article to know more about how you can stop craving for his affection.
Love is a cycle. It has it’s up and downs, high and lows. You can’t really expect for his affection to always stay the same. But does that mean that you should settle for an affection-deprived marriage?
So how exactly can you get his genuine affection back?
It’s by loving yourself first that you actually get him to love you more.
Not just that! Him seeing your pure feminine essence makes him want to step up, protect, and even nurture you.
Not sure how you can bring out your feminine essence?
No worries as we’ve got you covered. Get his affection back and rekindle the love you once had by securing your spot in our flagship coaching program here.
You’re just one decision away from becoming a cherished wife that you truly are. Make that decision today and live a marriage with a deep-knowing and tender holding love you truly deserve.
We have the blueprint, you just have to start this journey to the love that you so deserve.
Discover 3 DANGEROUS Mistakes Couples Make
Receive a FREE assessment to identify your relationship mistakes & how to avoid them.