[EP37] Why Becoming More Feminine May Save Your Marriage

Transcript

Welcome back to the Awakened Wife podcast. I am Jachym Jerie, from your exceptional relationship.com. And today we are discussing why becoming more feminine may save your marriage. Now, it is a little bit of a misnomer. Because it is not about becoming more feminine, it is more allowing yourself to be more feminine, that will be more accurate. Because you are already feminine and you have that within you. You’re just not tapping into that as much as you can. Now you’ve heard Natasha talk about how you can activate it more. So you may already be more feminine. Or at least your expression may be more feminine, you’re channeling more the energy of the feminine into your marriage. Now, why could that save you? Well, look, marriages fail for all kinds of reasons. However, there’s one reason that is quite common, which is that people get too polarized. So you used to be attracted to each other, you used to have passionate lovemaking. And that’s all gone out the window. You’re good friends, but you want more, you know, yes, friendship is important in a marriage. 

And yes, it’s giving a solid foundation for the marriage. However, if the polarity of the attraction goes out the window, it can be a deal-breaker for people, right. And so activating your feminine energy, and bringing that into the marriage can save the marriage. Why because you are starting to embody a pole in the marriage that draws the masculine out in your man. And that starts to create the dynamic and the spark again, between you where he is dating you more, he is more attentive towards what you need. He is into you and courting you and all of that that can happen when you activate the feminine energy, which is the reason why you want to do that. And here’s the thing, we men, we love to see our woman happy, satisfied, and fulfilled. We are now together with you. Because we want to see you unhappy, miserable, angry, resentful, and all of that. 

Now you’re a human being and you have these emotions. And there’s nothing wrong with those emotions. However, seeing you in your feminine is something that turns us on. It is something for a man that it’s inspiring. And that once the man takes care of you like if a woman becomes so open and vulnerable and honest, without an agenda, it is something that’s deeply inspiring for the masculine. 

And what I see a lot of women do is that they think they are being open. They think they are being soft, but they are actually coming with a very clear, directed purpose and a very clear goal, which is actually more again in the masculine energy, the feminine energy, relaxing into the feminine energy can be scary. It can be scary because it’s letting go of control. It’s letting go of control and trust. Trust that it will work out. It’s almost like you’re letting yourself fall and Your trustee will catch you. So if it’s not scary for you, you may have not actually gone in the direction that we’re pointing. And so why can that save your marriage? Well, because the one thing that hurts and marriage the most is disconnection. When you start to disconnect from each other, going into your feminine is about connection. You’re dropping your guards, you’re dropping your walls, you’re dropping, dropping your coping mechanisms that you’re using to sustain yourself. You’re letting go and you’re opening up fully. That’s a connection that’s asking for a connection. The feminine draws in it doesn’t push it doesn’t pull, it doesn’t pursue. It pulls in, by your weight, very way of being

So that is why going more into your feminine can save your marriage because you cut the bullshit, you cut the bullshit of trying to manage your man, you cut the bullshit of trying to make him do something. You let go and you become open and honest and vulnerable, completely. You take all the walls, all the guards that you have around your heart to take them away. And of course, that can be scary, which is why we work with people. We help them navigate that navigated in a healthy way, you see so that you don’t do it in a way that is harmful to you. But the connection is really at the heart of the marriage. 

And the feminism hands have a unique power it can melt walls, it can melt the walls of your masculine partner. But it won’t melt if you come from trying to push for something because then you’re back in your masculine. So you see this is a different way of being it’s actually a very natural way. It doesn’t require effort. it the other way requires effort. Not doing what’s natural to you requires effort. But because we are using you know our coping mechanisms a lot, they seem like they are not taking the effort, and dropping them takes effort. Well, actually, it’s the other way around. Now another reason why going into your feminine and becoming more feminine may save your marriage is because, within the feminine, there’s an honesty of the moment, the feminine is in the moment. And so you communicate that and you embody that with your body. That’s where the feminine actually is manifested is i

And they become all logical and all of that which again, it’s more of a masculine trait, which is not the point of the feminine lives in the body. And it expresses through the body. And so there’s an honesty, there’s an immediate feedback for your men about what’s happening in that very moment. Because some women, for example, you get hurt, but you don’t express it, you don’t show it in that moment, you don’t let it flow through, you keep it in. And when you keep it in, you start to become resentful, we start to tense up, you start to close your heart. And as a man, I can tell you, I prefer you feeling your anger coming from an open heart, then coming from a closed heart. I prefer you being expressive and truthful in what’s happening in this very moment within you. Then you try to tell me in a nice way that I should behave differently. Way You Can See look at the dynamic between the masculine the feminine, you can say the masculine is leading is the captain. But the feminine is the weather. So So if the captain doesn’t know what the weather is, his hat is currently on? How is he going to start a ship? Oh, there’s a storm. Okay, well, that takes a different action than when there’s blue sky. And so when you’re repressing your emotions, you’re pressing the expressions, the expression of your emotions.

He doesn’t know where to go. He doesn’t know how to lead you. And so that honesty in the moment is so important. Now that doesn’t mean as well that you’re not going to hold things in your body anymore. And that takes practice. You need practice for that, to learn to let things flow through you rather than keeping it and locking it up in your body for days, or weeks or years. So you want to learn to actually work with your body go into your body feel your body and life It moves through you so that when something happens in the moment where you feel it dropped and not held by your man where you feel like he is not in his masculine anymore, you express that you let that move through you, you ride with the energy with the Open Heart, you don’t take it as a way to just close your heart and hide. Now you’re courageous, and you let it move through you. But as it’s moved through you, it’s gone. It’s not there anymore. 

You don’t keep holding on to it forever. And so if you notice that you’re holding a lot of presents, but you haven’t let it move through you. You’re stuck in the story from the past, you’re not in the moment right now. And so it’s important that the activation of the body is really there. And that’s another reason why a marriage can be saved is because all of that stuff that you’re holding inside of you can be processed. And as you are processing it, these old things they don’t, they don’t have power anymore. And so they start to leave their relationship because when your husband does something on a certain way that used to trigger you or make you angry or whatever, he doesn’t do it, or if he does it, it flows through your system fairly quickly. So sometimes when we see people, it’s like they have this huge baggage of the past.

That’s still present. Because it has not been able to move through them. And so it’s almost like you’re detoxing their relationship by becoming more feminine by letting things move through you when and being feminine does not mean that you’re only ever soft and sweet. The feminine can be very fierce, very strong. And easy. That’s the danger. And also I had some hesitation talking about feminine and masculine is because we’re giving you ideas here about feminine and masculine. And you may just take them on. And you may I try to live up to them thinking you know, I have to all be sweet and soft, inside and, and that’s what is needed. And that will make my man step up. But actually, sometimes he needs to feel your fierceness to feel your fire. It’s not about that. It’s about the closeness of your heart and openness of your heart and feeling the energy within your body and letting that move through you.

Now when your man actually feels you in your feminine, and he feels that you’re serious that you’re actually relinquishing control, and you want him to lead both of you. And you let it be that you don’t step back into the control when he missed steps which he will every leader miss-steps that’s part of off the package. So but as soon if he miss-steps, and you go into, you know, into back into the control or old habits, you’re signaling to him that you’re not really serious about relinquishing control and staying more fully in your feminine in the relationship. So what happens when you do stay within the feminine within your relationship? And why am I safe? You’re related your marriage is because he really sees Okay, she’s serious. 

This is not just a face that this is not just something that she’s saying, this is something that she’s living right now. And I’m seeing how my consequences are impacting her. I better need to step up, because I don’t want to see my woman hurt. I don’t want to see her distressed because of what I’m doing. So actually giving the gift of surrender to your man is massive. It’s a gift. It’s a true gift that you’re giving. And it can fundamentally change our relationship dynamic and make it more healthy. Now even when you surrender, you’re still ultimately responsible for your life. There’s no such thing as abdicating responsibility. neither for your emotions nor where your life is heading. So we’re not when we’re saying surrender and surrender to matter, we’re not saying about abdicating your responsibility for your life, because you can’t choose or you choose to surrender. 

And to let go. That’s your choice. And what happens from there is still part of your responsibility, even though it is also your husband’s responsibility, because he’s taking on that role. And you can have a conversation with him about it. Because it’s about both of you growing into, into this new dynamic. And finding your way, and it can be uncomfortable for the men, it can be uncomfortable to realize, damn, I have, I now have all of this responsibility, and my woman is so fully trusting in me. I mean, that’s amazing. But it can also be scary. What if I fuck up? What if I do something wrong? What if I make the wrong choice? What if I hurt her these are all salts that can come up for a man. And so it is not about surrendering and letting him figure everything out. You can surrender bit by bit and on the way help. 

But you have to be careful to not help from a place of taking control again. So it’s a, it’s a delicate thing, it’s a delicate, delicate process that you need to go through with this. But ultimately it feels so much better and feels so much natural. For demand and for the woman, the something there, that just it feels very primal. And it feels quite right. And effortless. And so another reason, which is kind of implied with whatever we have been talking about is that doing this because it’s grounded enough that authenticity and truth and honesty, it actually gives the chance for your marriage, your relationship to be built on a solid foundation. Because if we are building it on a pretense, then it’s not going to last. Because eventually, you’re gonna it’s gonna wear you down, you’re tired of it, you don’t want to do it anymore. So it has to be grounded within authenticity and your truth. The truth of you wanting to, to do this, and the truth of what’s happening for you and what you’re feeling and where you’re at.

Because wearing a mask in the relationship is extremely exhausting and tiring. You don’t want to do that. Now, taking the lead in a relationship as a man, I can tell you also, that can be tiring as well. So your man who may need more time to recuperate so that he can fully show up for you when you are together. Because doing it 24/7 is very demanding. And I don’t think that’s healthy either. You know, you need time to recuperate, you need time to recuperate, he needs time to recuperate and when you come together you can nourish that dynamic that you actually are wanting in the relationship. So it puts it puts things into a new light into a new perspective. You stop lying to yourself you stop lying to your partner you really just become truthful, truthful to to to the essence of what your heart is actually longing for.

I’m just talking about that right? being truthful to what your heart is longing for. I mean feeling that coming from a woman that is open and fully present in her body and embodying her truth. It can make your man want to move mountains for you. That’s why it save him heritage. And with it, there’s all kinds of behaviors that are being dropped that men find difficult to deal with passive-aggressiveness bickering, nagging all those kinds of things, they’re often expressions of emotions not being processed and not being embodied, not being truthful in the moment. And those things, they start to fall away. So that’s why it makes such a massive difference. But it doesn’t mean that it’s not challenging, it is challenging and is also challenging to, to feel the fierceness of a woman you know, and stay present when within. So your man also has a learning curve with it. So in some ways, it is the antidote, the antidote to um, when I mean this, I mean, becoming more feminine, is the antidote to, to feeling lonely abandon, not taken care of. Because you’re connecting fully to yourself, you’re not abandoning yourself, you are standing truthfully for your desires, and you’re expressing them voicing and fiercely and courageously. 

And connecting deeply to what your heart longs for, is extremely healing. And so many women’s hearts are aching for a man to be fully present, to show up, to hold them, to be present with them, and to take them into their own depth that they can’t reach just by themselves. women’s hearts are dying for that. And so becoming honest with that, and starting to express that and starting to live into that in your relationship and your life is healing and can help to fill the hole of feeling lonely, and not taking care of because you are now taking care of yourself by being honest. Because a lot of the abandonment that we feel from our partner is actually an abandonment from ourselves. We’re abandoning our own desires and we are suppressing them and not taking them into account which then leads to more loneliness more hurt. And so you’re starting to break the cycle by being honest. It is a fairly deep topic, the feminine, and masculine energy and there’s a lot to discuss around it. 

But I hope you can see how vital it is and how much a of a difference it can make in your life and your relationship. And so with it we with this episode, we’re starting to wrap up the chapter of polarity and masculine-feminine energy. If you found it interesting and you would like to explore more deeply how you can step into your feminine energy, then reach out to us head over to your exceptional relationship.com forward slash cherished there you can take a look at our cherished wife program. And you can get on a call with us to explore whether this will be an option for you and your relationship. And next week we are tuning in to authenticity and being honest the in your relationship. And the impact of that we already started discussing it today. And by will go much more deeply into that because I feel a lot of people really are struggling because they are not being honest and truthful to themselves and with it. They can’t be truthful and honest to their partner.

If you’re interested in the show notes then you can head over to your exceptional relationship.com/37 Let me just double-check that that is correct. Yes. 37 number 37. All right. With that, I wish you a beautiful day and I’m looking forward to hearing from you about what you have taken from this episode. And also to for you to tune in on the next one. Take care