12 Things a Man Secretly Wants from His Wife

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Have you ever wished to know what your husband’s truly thinking?

Want to know what’s really going on inside his head?

In this article, you can finally find out what your husband always wanted in your marriage but might not have told you yet.

Even if you’ve been together for a long time, there still might be things that still feel too scary for him to talk and be vulnerable about. Things such as: what does a man secretly want from his wife? To help you out, we came up with a list of 12 things that your husband might be missing in your marriage.

Whether he admits it to himself or to you, or not, they are key aspects of a healthy and long-lasting love. How many of these 12 things has your husband shared with you? How can you help fulfill his wishes? Let’s dive in to find out.

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1. A Husband Wants Intimacy from His Wife

You don’t get closer to anyone than your spouse. Intimacy is a vital part of a marriage. But intimacy doesn’t just mean sex. You can have very ‘unintimate’ sex.
No, intimacy means to truly be open with each other. It means to remove all your masks and be real with each other. 

In our The Cherished Wife Program, we help women pull down all the walls they’ve put up around their heart and truly be vulnerable and open with their man. We show you how you can make your man go crazy over you. Gone are the days where you feel neglected. Instead, he wants to be with you and shower you with the love and attention you crave. Head over here to reserve your seat now.

Now let’s get started on how you can give your man what he wants through two different kinds of intimacy:

Relationships are a natural conduit of love and joy. The only thing that hinders the flow of those qualities are fears.- Natasha & Jachym Jerie

Physical  Intimacy

This goes beyond just sex. It includes cuddling and how you touch him. In many ways, physical intimacy is really an energetic exchange. It’s your willingness to allow your husband into your being. The more you can open up and give yourself to him, the more intimate the exchange becomes. 

Practical Implementation:

Pay attention to how you react to your husband’s touch. Are you opening yourself up to him or are you closing down? Are you receiving his affection or pushing it away? 

Notice how you touch your husband. You want to be fully present with the touch and savor it rather than it being mechanical. 


Emotional Intimacy

Without emotional intimacy, a marriage is bleak.
It misses the depth and richness that comes from truly being open with each other. Your husband wants to be close to you. Many women push their husbands away by bringing negative communication patterns into the relationship like:

  • Nagging
  • Bickering
  • Blaming
  • Shaming
  • Attacking
  • Criticizing

All of these lead to emotional distance and not closeness. If you want to become more emotionally intimate with your husband, these have to go. In our premium coaching program The Cherished Wife, we show you exactly how you can remove these romance killers and what you can replace them with. The result is:

  • Deep emotional intimacy
  • Rekindled passion
  • A man who wants to fulfill your desires
  • A husband who shows you his love everyday

No more begging for his attention. Instead, he wants to be with you. Take your first step now to become a Cherished Wife!


2. Your Husband Wants to Feel Appreciated and Valued

It feels good when someone shows you that they appreciate you.
Your husband is no different. He wants to feel appreciated and valued. Men tend to not express appreciation towards each other. Which is why it’s important that you can fulfill that need for him. 

Practical Implementation:

Tell him:

  • How you appreciate his hard work
  • How important he is to you
  • How he looks good in his shirt
  • That you admire his strength as a person

With any of these, make sure that they are genuine. That’s why we recommend that you start looking for things your husband does really well. The more you look for it, the more you’ll find it. 


3. A Man Wants Respect from His Wife

When you don’t show respect to your man, you’re devaluing him. The exact opposite of what you want to do. Many women are unaware that they’re actively undermining their husband.

For the longest time, I suppressed and disempowered Jachym in the household without realizing it. Because I thought that I was better at organization and planning, I took it upon myself to keep the home neat, tidy and our lifestyle healthy as my main job. This all came with good intentions, but the result was disastrous.

I ended up being extremely controlling, constantly telling Jachym to do things my way, nagging and criticizing him whenever he didn’t do something ‘right’. In the end, it was so paralyzing for Jachym that he would walk on eggshells at home, afraid that I would get pissed off at him for making another household mistake.

It wasn’t until Jachym voiced to me just how hurtful my behavior was that I noticed what I had been doing. I was treating Jachym like a child, telling him what to do and when to correct his behavior.

What I actually needed was to be his wife and partner. Taking on the household management wasn’t the main problem. What became the problem was that I disrespected and belittled him along the way.

Now, we’ve found a wonderful synergetic dynamic in our household. We split many tasks and responsibilities according to our strengths and have a true appreciation for each other. There is no more room for passive aggression or nagging. We know that respect is our priority before anything else.

As Shaunti Feldhan describes in her book: Men would choose feeling respected over love. Giving your man respect is one of the fundamental keys to turn your marriage around. Men need to feel competent, able, and worthy of respect. If this is lacking, intimacy will go out of the window.


Because he feels hurt. Even if you didn’t intend to hurt him. That’s why in our The Cherished Wife Program, we show you the attitudes that are driving your man away. We help you replace these attitudes with one that will make you irresistible to your husband.

You don’t have to figure this out by yourself. We got the blueprint to make your marriage thrive. Do you want it?

Practical Implementation:

Here are some simple ways that you can show your husband respect: 

  • Give up control over your husband. 
  • Don’t play down his views and opinions.
  • Stop making snide comments when he makes a mistake.
  • Pay attention to your body language and stop showing your disapproval non-verbally (rolling your eyes, breathing hard, scrunching up your face).
4. Your Man Wants to Feel Understood

Feeling understood is an important aspect of a good relationship, as this paper
here suggests. This is especially important when we’re having a misunderstanding that’s impacting our relationship. 

Even though Natasha and I communicate well in general, there are still moments where we have complete misunderstandings. 

The other day, while talking to each other, we totally misinterpreted each other’s intentions and ended up feeling hurt by each other. Natasha felt forced into a corner and pressured to make an uncomfortable decision. Meanwhile, I felt equally stressed from her demands that seemed near impossible in the moment.

At the time, we were both extremely busy and stressed for time. The whole conversation didn’t sit right with us. Natasha walked away wondering why I was being so passive-aggressive and challenging her in a way that didn’t feel like teamwork anymore, while I felt misunderstood myself.

It was only when we cleared up the misunderstanding and talked about what we interpreted in the conversation and the true intentions behind our words that the air was cleared.

Misunderstandings like these are bound to happen in your relationship. That’s why it’s crucial to develop the skills to not only identify the problem, but also to recover from the negative impacts and re-establish healthy, honest and effective communication again.

Practical Implementation:

  • Make time to listen to your man without interrupting him.
  • Keep exploring his world by asking him questions that really interest you.
  • Be ok with not understanding him yet still taking his wishes on board.

5. Trust

A Cherished Wife trusts her husband. That’s why she doesn’t need to control him.- Natasha Koo

He wants you to trust him. 

Do you remember how we were talking about letting go of trying to control your husband? Well, if you don’t give up control, you’re showing him that you don’t trust him. A lack of trust is also indirectly saying that you don’t see him as a capable man. But as you can see in this study, trust is vital for a good relationship.  

As much as he wants you to trust him, he also wants to be able to trust you. It’s a really uncomfortable place to be in, if you don’t trust your partner.

Practical Implementation:

  • Address any trust issues you have (we help you with that in The Cherished Wife Program).
  • Focus on what he’s doing well and start trusting him there.
  • See how his way of doing things has its value too.
  • Address any event in the past that has broken your trust with him. 

6. Your Man Needs Your Feminine Essence

If you want passion, you need polarity in your relationship. 

You have a feminine essence and your husband has a masculine one. Both have access to the feminine and masculine energies. However, your natural state is either more masculine or more feminine. 

Many women are taking on masculine traits to thrive in work. Then, they bring these traits into the relationship which leads to trouble. 


Because you’re not allowing the natural polarity between man and woman to play out. Your man craves your feminine essence. It is what draws out the masculine strength in him. But if you are schooling him and telling him how bad he’s doing things, you’re becoming his mom. 

A Cherished Wife lets her husband be her strong man and doesn’t treat him like a child.- Natasha & Jachym Jerie

A man wants to feel your feminine energy. It’s what attracted him to you in the first place. In our premium coaching program The Cherished Wife, we help you unlock your feminine energy. It makes you 10x more attractive and it restores the vitality in the relationship. 

It’s like unlocking your inner goddess that he simply can’t get enough of. You’ll feel more youthful, energetic and replenished by being with your husband. Instead of feeling exhausted from trying to make it work and failing at it over and over again. 

You can have it all. Simply reserve your spot now.


7. Seeing You Happy and Satisfied

A man knows he’s a good husband when he sees his wife happy and satisfied. You can say all the good things to your man, but if you aren’t happy, he’ll know. 

Your happiness is music in your husband’s heart. If you want to give your husband what he wants, make yourself happy. Only you can take care of your happiness.

Practical Implementation:

  • Take care of yourself.
  • Stop doing everything in the house.
  • Pamper yourself.
  • Put yourself first.

Doing this can have a hugely positive impact on your marriage. You simply need to get over the belief that you can’t do that. Yes, you can and when you do, you wish you’d have done it earlier.

To become a Cherished Wife, you need to cherish yourself first.- Jachym Jerie

8. A Man Wants to Feel Your Desire for Him

It’s one thing to hear that you’re sexy. It’s another when he looks at you like he can’t hold back anymore. It’s the same for your husband. He wants to feel desired by you. 

It’s another form of approval when you can’t get enough of him. It lets him know that he’s good enough as a man for you.

Practical Implementation:

  • Start initiating sex.
  • Give him a passionate kiss outside the bedroom.
  • Write to him that you can’t wait for him to get back to you.
  • Look at him with desire and longing.

Body language really matters here. If you’re going for it, commit to it. It’s not a nice feeling if he finds out that you just feel obligated to do this for him. 


9. A Man Wants to Feel Your Support


You either nurture your fears and insecurities or you nurture love and empowerment.- Natasha Koo

It’s great when your husband knows that you got his back. It’s a sign that you truly are a team. You respect his decision and support him to fulfill his dreams. That’s a good foundation for an Exceptional Relationship.

Practical Implementation:

  • Respect his decision.
  • Know his dreams and support them.
  • Create an emotionally-safe home (get rid of criticizing and nagging).
  • Show him that you got his back.
10. Your Husband Wants You to Believe in Him
It’s a magic switch.

When you believe in him you:

  • Trust him
  • Respect him
  • Support him
  • Let yourself go and reveal your feminine essence

To believe in your husband means to see him as a strong, powerful, and capable man. You see the best version of him. In The Cherished Wife Program, we guide you to unlock your belief in your husband again. It transforms how you perceive your husband for the better. You get to meet the hero you once fell in love with again. 

When you see him this way, he’ll become it. That’s how powerful this is. Head over here to reserve your spot now. 

Practical Implementation:

  • Focus on what your husband does well,
  • Allow your husband to be the strong man by relinquishing control.
  • Allow yourself to open up your heart fully without keeping any guards up.
11. A Man Wants You to Allow Him to Give to You

It’s so satisfying.

To give to a woman who’s fully allowing herself to receive. It’s like she becomes a sponge for your love and strength. It’s gratifying and fulfilling to be able to give without any condition. 

That’s what your man wants. He wants you to be open for his support. He wants to feel how you let yourself go in his presence. However, many women aren’t ready to receive.

We want to receive love, pampering and attention. Yet when he does compliment us, we don’t believe his word. When he does something extravagant and nice, we feel guilty, like it isn’t justified.

It isn’t as simple as our husband doing the right thing. We must feel valued enough within our own self and only then can we allow our partner to give to us.

Practical Implementation:

  • Feel how you react when you receive.
  • Ask your man to do something for you that you’d really enjoy.
  • Tell your husband that you can’t do something and allow him to do it for you.

It’s important that you feel your energy when you do these things. Are you retracting or staying open? 


12. Acceptance


An Exceptional Relationship takes an exceptional commitment.- Natasha & Jachym Jerie

We all want to be accepted for who we are.

Your husband wants that too. He doesn’t want to be changed or fixed, he just wants to be him. Acceptance of someone else is showing them that they’re good enough as they are. But your husband doesn’t just want your acceptance; he wants you to accept yourself too. 


Because when you accept yourself fully, you’re at peace with yourself. That radiates out into your relationship and how you interact with your husband is forever changed. In The Cherished Wife Program, we give you the tools to accept yourself. We show you how you can find peace even if circumstances aren’t perfect. It’s this attribute that can really make a big difference in your marriage. 


Because it makes the relationship resilient. It takes away the arguments that are based on old hurts and wounds. It gives you the power to navigate life with grace.

Practical Implementation:

  • Look in the mirror and accept your body.
  • Accept your husband’s flaws by letting go of your resistance towards them.
  • Feel into how your body responds when you don’t accept.

Your husband might not have told you these twelve things he wants from you, but know these are real desires that make an incredible relationship. It’s okay if you have none or a few of these things in your marriage; you can always build upon what you have right now.

We have identified some practical and doable tips under each of your husband’s wants outlined above. Pick one thing from this list that you can start implementing today. Allow your love to translate into action.

'If you had a wish, what would it be?' a wife asks her husband because she wants to know his needs. 12 Things a Man Secretly Wants from His Wife

As your husband feels your commitment to  change for the better, his appreciation and connection to you will grow. Let your guard down and give it a try. Because, there’s nothing more beautiful or rewarding than to nurture and deepen your love with your husband.

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